A floater friend?
This is just a rant.
Before, I didn’t think of myself as a ‘floater friend’ but as I get older, meeting new people or reconnecting with the past people of my life. I realized I never been one of the core members of a friend group or circle of friends.
I have always been the outsider. I never felt belonged to them; I just tag along to pass the time. I always want to squeeze myself in, but I don't want to force myself in a friend group that doesn’t want me. I have tried countless things for me to be part of the group,
but why does no one keep me?
why am I always alone? excluded? I always questioned myself. Was I too boring? am i cringe? am I ugly? why can’t I just connect with them?
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when will I get out of this cycle?
I’m in senior high school for Godsake. It’s so annoying. The first months of my new class has been great but as time goes they all settled in a circle of friends then I was left alone. I told myself every year, that it’ll be different, that the people are just not it. But it’s been years. I have tried everything to be included.
Am I the problem?
After pandemic it’s just been like this. I feel like people are just not interested to me. Maybe I am boring. Ugh, I have tried to be positive but I'm just so tired. I just want to belong somewhere, to have friends.
Why is it so hard??? why do I suck?
why am I such a loser.
