Best Friend, Greatest Enemy

I know I’ve had many problems with my best friend. So I’m going to give you five tips that hopefully will help. My goal is not to change the world with these tips. It’s simply to help even just one person with a problem. If I can just do that, then I will have accomplished a great deal.

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Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist, nor a psychology expert. Anything you read here is just tips from my experiences, not professional help. If you need professional help, do not come to me, go to someone who has gone to college to study psychology. These are just tips for small situations, like conflicts with friends, or misunderstandings that can be a little hard to sort out, not anything on a greater level.

1. If someone is saying something rude to you, don’t say something to them right away. I know it might just be easier to snap at them and call them names, but none of that will help the situation any. You should instead, go talk to someone who can help you figure out what to say to the person that is saying those rude things.
2. When you do speak to someone, telling them how you feel like you discussed with you safe person, you want to stay calm. Getting angry or aggressive won’t help. It will just cause them to be angry, and you can damage your friendship even more.
3. If they apologise, but still are saying rude things to you, it might be time to take a break. I know people say forgiveness is the best thing to do, but when you forgive someone time after time, you might just need to stop. Hang out with some other friends, and come back to them in a few days. This gives you a chance to calm down, and them a chance to realise that what they were saying wasn’t kind. There is only so many chances you can give a person before you need to step away.
4. Don’t try to sort out a conflict over text. Nowadays, texting and social media are ruling our world. You don’t ever want to sort out a conflict via these. You can’t ever tell if someone is joking or if they are serious, and it’s easier for people to say mean things when you aren’t talking face to face. It’s always best to sort out conflicts in person.
5. If you feel that something is going to start a fight on a text thread, make sure you step away or clear up any misunderstandings. That’s alot in one sentence, let me break it down better. If you say something as a joke on a text but the other person’s text comes back defensive saying things like “what’s that supposed to mean?” or “I did/am not!” then just clear up what you said, and make sure they know it was supposed to be a joke. It works the same the other way around. If someone says something you take personally, and they meant it as a joke, make sure they know that it upset you, and that they know not to say it again.

I hope these tips helped you. I can’t stress it enough that this is not anything professional, and if these tips don’t work, you might need more professional help. I don’t want you relying on just these tips during a conflict. These tips are also not going to solve every conflict. Every conflict is different, and needs different things to help it get solves.