Lost You
My greatest fear
was never to be the only one who fell first.
But then I saw you,
and — holy fuck —
principles who?
Though shy,
I held your hand as we walked.
Your eyes lit up when you shared,
your lips quivered with laughter
at my unfunny jokes.
Your hand slapped my thigh
whenever I teased you.
I thought we were endgame.
So why do I no longer feel butterflies?
Why does it feel like I’ve lost you —
or maybe you were never mine at all?
Still, I’d rather believe
you were once mine,
even if only for a moment,
than accept the truth
that you never were.
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Now I see you,
and I feel nothing.
It’s happening again.
I thought I’d closed that chapter
when I met you.
They say,
“Walk away when the applause is loudest.”
But here I am,
staying.
Over.
Over.
And over again.
No dignity left,
as if shame
never had a hold on me.
Maybe I’m just a fool in love.
Originally written on 15 March 2025.
