Entry Four: LIMF
new month and another challenge.
exams and nursing school shenanigans
This past week has really been such a demanding one. Writing all your exams within a week is not a walk in the park. Oh! Sleepless nights and morning, days blurring into each other, hyper fixating on just writing the exams and everything else just has to wait. It was really a lot and I even almost got to my breaking point. I have one left now and I really cannot wait. Even though I still have much more ahead. But I just keep encouraging myself to know that this is really the last phase in this school. Nursing school will stretch you thin and only the resilient can survive. Sometimes, I wonder how I am able to pull through. Again, I really cannot wait. While I know it is not easy out there, there is little or no limit to one experience and I’m losing patience already.
love
If there is anything have struggled for most part of my life it will be to love and to accept love. Every time I look back at my life, I wonder how much I must have deprived people of loving them fully and also accepting love from the pureness of their heart. Thankfully, I realized this is such a big struggle of mine and by God’s grace I have been working on how to get better. I must say love is such a beautiful concept, there’s nothing that will make people live in harmony if love does not exist. When I receive love from people, I do not just see it as being normal or casual. It’s so dear to my heart and it really does tug my heart. Having to not beg or scavenge for love and receive it from the largeness of people’s heart keeps me in awe and makes me so emotional. It wasn’t something I had early enough in life and I would never ever get used to it. Now, I also see myself wanting to give so much love to others coming from a place where I’ve been so selfish and thinking the world revolves around me. I see myself wanting to be the world who revolves around others too, considering them first, going the extra mile for them, making them happy, putting a smile on their face. I no longer want to hold back anymore, I want to love so recklessly, extend so much love to others, be without guile, think the best of others. I want to be home to others, that they come and know that there’s so much peace, comfort, warmth, and the ability to be, with no performance.
bond among believers
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This is like a sequel to the previous paragraph. You know when people say church is family. Its not by word of mouth. We don’t just call fellow believers in Christ brothers or sisters because of respect and honour. It is really because they are really our siblings in Christ bond by His love. Gosh! Gods love is so beautiful and that’s what is demonstrated among believers. It choosing each other, considering others first, bearing each other’s pain, praying for each other, giving all of yourself without holding back. It’s really portraying Gods love to fellow believers. I’m really grateful to be among one. I’ve experienced and received love from them in different ways possible and I find it so beautiful and endearing.
rooting for strangers
Have you ever wondered if there’s someone somewhere who loves you and would root for you almost to their last breath and you don’t even know whether they exist? I was telling one my friends about this because I’ve had and I currently have people who I root for and they don’t even know me. I find it as such a beautiful concept that there are certain people who genuinely root for you and you didn’t even have to ask for it. It’s beautiful. It’s always funny that is strangers who tend to root for you. Why is that though?
days are folding up into months
What do you mean it’s third month of the year 2026 already. We are really in March already. I entered this year with writing examinations and I’m even currently preparing for one right now. And looking back into this year, I haven’t been able to even reach some of my goals for the last two months. It’s so sad. But I’ve realized I can’t keep waiting for everything to end before I start my own stuff, school will always have something come. So, I just have to do what I have to do no matter what and that’s why I’m trying so hard to keep writing. Even though, it’s still below my expectation. I just have to show up and I really want to show up better. Because this consistency thing is really important.
exams are never ending
I just recently finished my first semester exam and I was really happy until it hit me that I have to start preparing for another one that’s holding this month again. I’m literally always writing exams. Always. Once I finish one, I’m preparing for another. And in all of these, I have two projects I’m equally working on. The struggle is really real for undergraduates. School can be stressful. I can’t believe I’ve started another non-sleeping marathon.
These past few weeks have been quite challenging for me but I’m trying my best maybe not my best to navigate everything. Tell me. How have you been?
