Humans and their obsession with life simulation games

Currently in my unemployment era, I don’t know if I should call it an era or phase or just unemployment. It does sometimes feel like an open-air prison, an endless road where the end is invisible. The moment I knew this ‘nothingness’ started devouring me alive is when I can’t even listen to the sound of my favorite music just because I feel like I don’t deserve it. Starting a new book to read felt like I should earn something first. Saving the ‘There It Goes’ by Maisie Peters sound “I’m doing better I made it to September, I could finally breathe” sound on TikTok, in case I get better soon, which only God knows when I’m gonna use it. A toxic trait somehow cursed to me. It walks and stops right in front of me

Something pushed to help me shift the old versions of me with the ‘new’ me, every version of me gone forever, and it takes 5 months to do it. Taking me further away from the people, places, and moments I can never return to.

I can’t even be the driver of my own taxi. Needed something steady, some kind of anchor that could give me control over my decisions.

Been re-drawn to life simulation games lately. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve loved playing The Sims. It feels like a parallel life where I get to make every decision, pause whenever I need to, and stay with a version of life for as long as I want. A world where nothing changes unless I choose to change it.

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Even I am the only one who can change me, not this sudden feeling of changing without any self-alarm.

The rare chance to be plotting a series on life, to start over again. The rush of a well-planned life, no invisible timer that will chime when the “time” comes, but I’m still stuck in this place.

Predictable, safe. An escapism.

You could just leave your job and be assigned to the new one without the judging face of your family and an endless thought of the fear of failing.

The never-ending “what if”. I wish.