stone cold
stone cold
I lay here stone cold, numb…..
on a makeshift sick bed,
in a straight jacket,
my most suitable attire,
you straddling my chest,
questioning my wasted years without you,
=
mirror stuck on the ceiling,
counting my eyelids shutter,
for every day missed,
from the tightening grip
of your mouth having on my lips,
never to entirely kill me
or to let me live in peace.
=
it’s not dying that I fear,
it’s seeing the expression on your face
when I take my last breath
as I lay there stone cold,
waiting for you, my love to know that
to be assertive is to be merciful,
like the day you drove your beautiful self to me
testing my fortitude
that’s now succumbing at your hands.
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=
I had faith in you,
I let you in to build a podium for your ego
so one could occupy its size,
I’ve built castles for winter and
tents on the summer coastlines
while I was looking for shade by an empty lake
I’ve carved a pool in my mind to accommodate
dripping saliva from your mouth to top it off…..
=
everything smiled the day your mercy touched
every scar you burned me with,
charred a delicately tattooed me,
short of a cure,
gazing at your neck & backside
from the mirror’s reflection,
wondering how crazy & warm a healing
it would be from the inside.
=
you’re still straddling my chest
cautious about delivering a final blow
even though you know that,
I’m laying here harmless,
paralyzed & stone cold…
======
for maria
April 14 2003
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