Ashirin da nawa?
Twenty what?
It’s that time of the year again. When the lunar calendar marks my initial arrival to this realm. Sigh + Yay! I guess. A lot of people feel birthday blues and unfortunately, it has become much worse in our generation when everything and everyone flash on our screens. You set your goals, life happens. You drink water and mind your business, Nigeria happens. You know, just regular stuff. One minute you are so full of pride and confidence, the next it has all been deflated and you’re now a flat tire. Thank you Internet.
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Birthdays are so confusing for me as an adult. As a kid, I used to love them. I would start counting down from my little brother’s, whose birthday is exactly a month from mine. I will stress everyone in my family oh. If you came visiting within that time, sorry for you. Because that would be our only topic of discussion. How I love the colour pink, the kind of cake I want and what I want on my birthday. Lol. See me now. Simple question, I cannot answer. I used to love my birthdays. I can’t place when they started making me anxious. I hate it. I truly do. I just want to be excited that I have had a go at one full calendar cycle and I am ready to love and run again. Why all these thoughts?
We are always flooded with well wishes and prayers on this day. The obligatory appreciation for your existence inclusive. Don’t get me wrong, people are genuinely glad that you are here. I, for one am very thankfully your beautiful eyes are reading this. But I don’t think we should wait for one day every year where we tell people how much we love them. I fail a lot. I fail to remind the people that matter to me most just how much I love them or how their presence makes the world brighter and better for me. But this is not why I wrote this. Help me dear God.
Aha! This is why we are here. I need to drop this reminder I got from aunty Debby. For me and for you. No dey look person wey dey run for your front. Eyes on the prize my guy. Run your race. Dear you (and me), please ehn, do yourself a favour and remember that na only you waka come. You came into this world alone, not in competition with anyone, not running against a countdown or timer. You are God’s masterpiece on His timeframe. And He makes everything very good in its time. That said, Happy birthday to me. Got myself some cake and cream to ward off the blues. Till next time. Goodbye 23. You were such a learning curve. Hello Ashirin da hudu.
Love, Ballie💖
