Reading Self-Help
I first dug into self-help literature a few months into my recovery, after my first significant setback in progress. I had gone about a week without taking a Xanax and was feeling cautiously optimistic about my outlook. It was a Saturday evening in August, and I took the train into Manhattan with a buddy for the birthday party of a college girl-friend of ours. I had been off the grid socially that summer while dealing with my new condition, so I was excited to catch up with friends and have a few beers- I hadn’t had a drink for a couple months out of fear that a hangover would trigger an anxiety attack. We hopped off the train and began walking through Grand Central when I was struck suddenly by a wave of panic and physical anxiety symptoms. They seemed to come from nowhere, and it was all I could do to keep my friend from noticing my distress. At that point in time I was extremely embarrassed about my anxiety attacks; no one knew about them outside of my parents and girlfriend. I ducked into a public bathroom and gulped down the Xanax pill I kept stashed in my wallet. Arriving at the party and not wanting to announce that I was unable to drink because I’d taken Xanax, I slipped into the bathroom with a Heineken, poured it down the sink, and filled the bottle with tap water. I spent the evening sipping lukewarm, beer tinged tap water and eyeing the front door, wondering if it was still too early to leave. The next morning, sitting at home in my parents’ living room and feeling totally dejected, I decided to throw a Hail Mary. I headed to the self-help section at Barnes & Noble. As embarrassed as I felt to stand in that section and browse through books, that day turned out to be one of the biggest turning points in my recovery.
Get Beat Anxiety Attacks’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
Self-help books are vital tools for learning about anxiety and different recovery techniques. These books provide patients with clues into why their attacks may have started and offer ideas on effective recovery methods for different situations. The professionals writing these books have usually counseled hundreds of patients through panic attacks over their careers. Absorbing their insight is essential. Here are the books that had the most significant impact on my recovery:
- Don’t Panic; Reid Wilson [General Information]
- When Panic Attacks; David Burns [General Information]
- Spark- John J. Ratey; [Exercise as Therapy]
- The Courage to Be; Paul Tillich [Philosophy, Theology, Existential Concerns]
- Wherever You Go, There You Are; John Kabat-Zinn [Meditation]
- Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind; Shunryu Suzuki [Meditation]
- Overcoming Medical Phobias; Anthony Watling [Specific Phobia]
If you’re currently suffering from anxiety you won’t need any extra motivation from me to pick these books up. I’ll skip the synopses because they wouldn’t do the authors justice. I will say that the first book on the list, Don’t Panic by Reid Wilson, is the most important piece of literature I ever found on the subject of anxiety. I still have my copy. It’s eight years old and has been re-read, underlined, and earmarked so many times that I can’t lay it on a table without the pages flying open. I recommend reading all the books listed, but if you’re looking for input on where to start I’d go with that one.
Originally published at https://beatanxietyattacks.com on August 23, 2021.
