The Meaning of Life….
Here I am, 3:30 p.m. on a Thursday afternoon with my second large, iced coffee in hand…
Ahem. Excuse me. We listen and we don’t judge my caffeine intake.
Now, back to what I was saying.
Here I am chugging my second large, iced coffee of the day while aggressively typing away on my computer when I hear a faint knock at my office door.
Ugh…do they not see me in focus mode over here?!?!
Another faint knock.
This time, my co-worker slowly slips her head into my office and timidly asks,
“Hey…are you busy by chance?”
Now, the recluse, deadline-driven paralegal in me wanted to look up and say, “I’ll let you take a guess.”
But the human side of me recognized this probably wasn’t a casual interruption.
For some context, I’m a litigation paralegal at a busy Plaintiff’s firm and frequently get asked procedural questions by attorneys and support staff alike. Half the battle in law is learning how to translate what the Court clerk actually means when they answer your question in legal riddles and partial sighs.
So anyways, I smiled and said,
“I’m always busy. But how can I help?”
Now, this assistant is essentially me on another side of the firm.
She handles countless responsibilities that most people don’t fully understand procedurally — the kind of behind-the-scenes work that quietly keeps cases moving through the legal system efficiently. She communicates all day with clients, attorneys, court personnel, and also helps train newer staff members.
On the brink of tears, she starts unloading everything that had just happened.
There had recently been a shift in leadership among the partner attorneys on her side of the firm. Employees had left. New hires had come in. Systems were strained. Tension was building.
During a meeting with management, two support staff members got into a heated disagreement over how to handle a case file.
And the attorneys — bless them kindly — often only see whether the file reaches the goal line. They aren’t usually involved in the thousand tiny procedural decisions it takes for support staff to actually move the ball down the field.
See? A sports reference. We’re growing here.
But my co-worker took the entire situation hard, especially after being reprimanded for her training methods.
Overwhelmed, exhausted, and already doing the work of three people, she kept saying the same thing over and over:
“They know the steps. They know what to do. They know to ask me questions if they get stuck…where am I failing?”
I looked at her and said,
“First, you are not failing. You’re doing the best you can with the hand you’re currently being dealt.”
Then I asked her something she hadn’t considered.
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“Do the new hires know why they’re doing what they’re doing?”
She paused.
Confused at first — but I could literally see the missing puzzle piece starting to click into place.
“I mean…yes? Well…maybe. They know the steps.”
“Right,” I replied. “But do they know the why?”
I explained that in law, procedures and steps matter — but understanding the why behind them matters even more.
That’s what allows you to anticipate problems before they happen.
That’s what helps you adapt when things don’t go according to plan.
That’s what allows you to confidently answer clients, attorneys, and court clerks when they’re all throwing questions at you at once.
Knowing the “why” changes everything.
“Stop focusing so hard on teaching the steps,” I told her. “Teach them the why. Once people understand the why, the next steps start making more sense naturally.”
She sat there quietly for a second before finally saying,
“You got a point. I see what you mean. Thanks, Rae.”
After she left my office, I just sat there thinking about how important the “why” really is — not just in law, but in life.
So many of us become consumed with routines, deadlines, milestones, expectations, and next steps that we rarely stop long enough to ask ourselves why we’re even taking those steps in the first place.
And honestly?
That’s a dangerous thing to forget.
Because one day you wake up and realize you’ve spent years mastering the “how” while feeling completely disconnected from your “why.”
And before you know it, you’re 98 years old sitting on your balcony with an iced coffee in hand —
(REMEMBER. WE LISTEN AND WE DON’T JUDGE.)
— wondering what exactly your purpose was in the first place.
That’s a hard truth.
Not knowing your “why” doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
But I do think life asks us to pause every once in a while, and evaluate whether the path we’re walking still aligns with who we truly are.
Sometimes the answer is yes.
Sometimes the answer is that it’s time to change directions completely.
But either way, eventually you realize something important:
The “why” will always matter more than the “how.”
Much Love & Light,
~ Rae ~
