Silliness
The thing about feeling deeply, about
Being
An empathetic sort,
Is that grief visits daily. Like a good friend or
A neighbour
Who pops by on their way through
And then I end up feeling silly, because suddenly I’m crying in the middle
Of my entryway
As my husband heads out the door for his morning walk
(I don’t cry small with silent tears)
He raises a questioning eyebrow as he holds me
Knowing
It’s just another sudden visit by grief,
But wondering at the specifics all the same
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I’m looking forward to the day when I can stop feeling silly for
- Missing my cat who’s been gone more than two years
- Holding this year’s losses (and near losses) closely
- Caring that others are experiencing heartache
- Being sad that jamming my thumb actually hurts
Feeling things bigly doesn’t make me a silly person
I know this logically
So now to practice acting in accordance
With my logic
Until my emotions learn to stop blaming themselves
