Not just yet
When fears make life harder
The bus approaches the stop. The crowd hurriedly gets in. Doors close and the bus starts moving. Vacant seats are quickly occupied, and the corridor fills in with standing passengers.
Somehow the crowd is arranged so that a small arena forms. Seats around the arena are mostly taken by women. In the middle of this area, two young men are standing.
Both of them are tall and handsome. They are wearing workwear, big dusty construction boots and pants with bulky pockets. Big backpacks and hard hats with ear muffs are also with them.
Probably these two work at a construction site. Their clothes have stains of sweet and dirt. Pants and boots are covered in a good layer of dust, so maybe they do concrete-related work.
Despite their dirty clothes, these two smell of hard work, sand, and man. Men who, in any weather, work outside with their hands. And they are handsome. One man’s butt is like nicely shaped bubbles. Although he is wearing worker’s pants, they sit on his hips just right, better framing his butt and long, physically well-shaped legs.
So these two are standing, chatting in the middle of the arena. Opposite them sit women. One of them, a blonde in her thirties, looks with interest at one of the men. She evaluates the two, chooses one, and wouldn’t mind spending a night or two with him. She keeps her eyes on him.
He feels someone’s gaze on him and instinctively glances around. Their eyes meet.
The blonde woman smiles slightly and tilts her head. A strand of hair falls softly across her right cheek. Her eyes are shining, reflecting her clear interest in him.
He receives her signal, but instead of smiling back, he looks away.
Okay, he doesn’t like me — she thinks.
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No way, is that girl into me?! — he doubts.
He attracts attention, but he freezes up when it comes to women.
This started when he was a kid. He had a crush on a girl in elementary school. They were in the same class. He carried her school bag when they walked home together. She smiled at him, and he was certain this girl would be his first love.
But one day a new boy came to their class. And the girl started smiling at the newbie instead. She switched her attention and avoided him during breaks.
He was crushed and couldn’t figure out what that new kid had that he didn’t — what made his girl turn away.
In older grades, it happened again. The girl he asked out turned him down.
After those failures, he lost his confidence. Instead of trying again to find a girlfriend, he gave up entirely.
He is afraid of being rejected.
So when he notices women looking at him, he ignores them. And would not dare to make the first move.
That bus eye contact was just one of those moments — when he is afraid and prefers not to act.
He keeps putting off relationships, telling himself that his fear will eventually disappear by itself. Like sand swept away by a strong wind.
But not him doing anything. Not just yet.
