Member-only story
Finding The Trail
About boulders and ditches
I am ill-equipped when it comes to my sense of direction. I can get lost in a supermarket, not to mention navigating long-distance routes. There was a time when I clung to my trip preparations, learning the route by heart.
It took years before I realized that my wonderful brain was wired a bit differently than others, and starting that day, I took the trail from disbelief to utter freedom.
Allow me to share some notes from the logbook.
In the early phase, I was extremely worried about failing — not finding my way AGAIN. I considered every little mishap a failure, and I dreaded that. I focused on removing inner boulders. I spoke badly to myself, and called myself names for not being able to perform better. “How come you cannot do this…?” started to weigh heavy. I began to “work” on myself by reading books, taking classes, and trying to make myself a cooperative human.
Yes, it made some things better. But it is a steep hike and causes severe muscle ache. In addition, it is an exhausting process and seems endless. Boulders wherever you look. Yet, after some time, I started to realize that there were fewer boulders on my path. With fewer obstructions, there were fewer traps to walk straight into. I was proud. I had made things better.
