Coping with Burnout and Homesickness while Living Abroad
Traveling isn’t all sake and salmon roe. What preceded a stunning photo of Mount Fuji from Owakudani was likely a nerve-wringing clamor to find the tour bus exit in Shinjuku Station– a chaotic labyrinth under constant construction, with passageways and signs that modify themselves like Hogwarts staircases.
Sitting alone in Tully’s, beating a caffeine withdrawal, I envy tourists who can laugh at their panic. My sense of humor hadn’t been robbed. (This was Japan, after all.) I was jealous they had each other. It gave their struggles a shared meaning.
In Japan particularly, most of my difficulties stemmed from social isolation. Disregarding the language barrier, Tokyoites do not engage in small talk. People divide themselves into groups when going out and as a foreigner, you are typically seen as “other.” My school had a few nomikais, but my co-JET and I heard about them afterward. My Japanese coworkers were nice to me, but with the expectation of two individuals, I could not tell if the affections were sincere.
You get up. You work. You go home. You eat. You sleep. You get up… Your apartment begins to feel like a hamster cage. This could happen with any job, but in a foreign country you lack the basic agency to communicate. You begin to doubt your prior convictions and wonder if the grass was actually greener on the other side of the ocean. You’re burnt out and homesick.
Homesickness comes in and out like a tide. But I think the initial downward slopes are the steepest. Without further preamble, here’s the advice I’d like to tell my younger self and aspiring or current assistant language teachers (ALTs)– in Japan or elsewhere.
Seek Out Community
Like a beacon of light shining amid the rocky cliffs and choppy waves of culture shock, my go-to bar, The Lighthouse, lived up to its name. My life improved immensely after I attended its weekly English boardgame nights. I met friendly, resourceful, supportive people from around the world. There was an unspoken sense to me that we gaijin had each other’s backs. While there is an argument to be made against staying in an “expat bubble,” I believe having one is invaluable.
That said, travelers come and go. Locals are permanent fixtures. Get to know your coworkers and students by attending school events. Explore extracurricular clubs. Try what language scraps you know at exchanges. Enrich your new environment by getting involved, and you’ll enrich yourself.
Nevertheless, maintain contact with family and friends back home to stay motivated and grounded. Schedule biweekly or monthly calls. Don’t underestimate any online communities you’re a part of, either.
Make Health a Priority
Practicing good physical health can go a long way in reinforcing your mental health. Remember it’s normal to take breaks. You can’t learn the language, customs, or job all at once. Expect the long game. Perfection isn’t real. Learning isn’t linear.
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Get plenty of sleep. Not train naps; actual sleep.
Eat well. Don’t overdose on Kinoko no Yama (Chocorooms). Depending on where you live, you may have more accessibility to healthy options, all the same, ensure you’re getting enough vitamins and nutrients. When you’re craving something from home, find hacks on how to recreate it with your new resources. Take note of stores that sell foreign consumables.
Exercise. Take up weights, bike, walk, run, swim. It’s not just for health, but stress relief and better sleep. Return home ripped.
Remind, Reflect, Regroup
Remember that the feeling of homesickness is a temporary adjustment period. It may be despairing, but it will pass.
It took me two years to feel comfortable in Japan. Things tune out the more you physiologically tune in and accept your new reality. It becomes more-or-less ordinary. You’ll begin to figure out who you want to be within your new parameters. Until then, your past experiences and habits will be at odds with your new normal. Essentially, you were raised on a different program (culture); a new one is going to take a while to load.
Take some time to go somewhere eternal, like nature. Relax and remember why you came in the first place. Ask yourself if you’re meeting your goals. If not, how can you? Journal about it. Journal with words or drawings. Let the act slow your mind down from the roar of the city and howl of trains. Get away from it all. Then come back.
Keep Old Hobbies and Start New Ones
Most of the people I know who stayed in Japan had a strong love for its culture. Whether they took up kyūdō, Iaidō, or Nihon Shuwa, their passion was the soil that allowed them to grow roots.
Research your new country. Find what interests you about it. Sate your curiosity by joining a Meet Up group, class, or event on the topic. There, you’ll meet locals. Hobbies can act as a social prop through which lasting friendships sprout. Two built-in advantages are that you will already have an excuse to meet and a common interest to talk about.
Keep your old hobbies too, though. Build both areas of your life so you don’t confine your identity to one world. When your experience abroad is over, you will not be as lost.
Make these interests a priority. They are not optional. They are balm from a bland routine and a chance to unpack a sense of purpose. Choose choices that move you forward. Hone skills that will carry you to where you want to go next.
Moving to another country is difficult. Remember you’re brave. In due time, the payoff will arrive. You will have a second life. You will know things you will struggle to explain to others. That’s a part of the cost, too.
