Some Wedding Tips…Don’t assume anything!
I wish someone had told me, what I am about to write to you. Most people will tell you about how important the food is, the drink/s are. The right wedding songs can create a romantic atmosphere, etc.
What people don’t tell you is to plan the REALLY important thing/s. It really is true that the wedding is only a day…or possibly a couple of days.
The first big rule is, once you are engaged…DO NOT TELL ANYONE!
Make your own plans, and remember to set them. I don’t mean plan everything in that one moment. Have a chat between the two of you first and ask each other. Questions like:
“What do you want from a wedding?”
“Would you like a big or small wedding?”
“What are your rules for a wedding?”
“We will be getting wedding professionals”. ← — — — — Good tip!
Find you what you two NEED, before you let anyone else know about being engaged. I believe that was something that was missing from my own. I had assumed that everyone would be on board, and if we got both sides of our families involved. It would bring our families together.
“Assumptions are made and most assumptions are wrong.”- Albert Einstein”.
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My family took over everything, and I do mean everything. Which is not what I wanted, and my partner’s family refused to get involved, really. They would back out of things easily. There was one time, that they backed out of having my partner brother as his man of honour (when there was drama with my family) They ended that conversation with “I feel so much better now” Gee…That’s exactly what every Bride and Groom want to hear for their wedding. Too be constantly let down by everyone involved. We were so glad that they felt so much better, for letting us down…That is sarcasm. I still haven’t forgiven anyone for what happened last year. Everyone, except for the wedding professionals, last year, let us down at some point.
- Tip* Spend the money on professionals.
Our wedding could have been so much more, if we had had the support from either side. I had looked forward to my wedding, not because I like the attention…I really don’t. I thought it would be bring the families together and possibly heal some things. Instead they all got worse. Yet, I was to be blamed for their actions and words.
- Tip* Unless you want to do the work yourself, entirely. Don’t get too much hope up.
- Tip* Be happy with the work you do accomplish to do. Celebrate those moments.
- Tip* Do something every single day for your wedding, if it is journaling.
The biggest tip, I can give you all potential brides and groom though, is to have the wedding you want. Know what you want before you tell anyone. A wedding should only be for one day, and usually involves just two people. Everyone else should just be grateful that they were included. Spend most of your time getting to know your future spouse. Despite what we were put through, my partner and I got closer. We were able to see who was really there for US and who was not. Who just wanted to control us, or who thought that they could.
Don’t assume anything or about anyone. Who I thought I could trust, I couldn’t. Who I thought might get over their own egos didn’t. I don’t talk to a few of my “family”. I trust none of them, except for my partner. What “things” I wanted for my wedding (ie, decorations etc), didn’t always pan out.
What a lot of people do not seem to understand about people getting married. You are making the beginning of your own legal family. You are beginning to make a choice of who you want your family to be. Who you choose to get married too, they will always be family. That person is part of your family and your life, for the rest of your life. Even if you don’t have children, you cannot change the History of who you choose to be your family. That’s what Wedding Days should be about. Its not about who does what at your wedding. It’s about who wants to make that effort to be apart of your family.
The only regret I have about my wedding day, was just assuming that I could trust that people in my “family” were there to help create a beautiful day for my partner and I. That they wanted to be involved in something to create a amazing way to start off our little family.
What I got instead, was a lot of other people’s egos. This is your wedding, your day. If people can’t respect how you want things, they do not have to come. Its about you two…That’s it. It literally does not matter what anyone else thinks is right or wrong.
My families egos has now cost me my physical health. My mental health though is actually great. Which why I have been able to be so stoic throughout my physical health crisis. Guess what, no one, apart from my partner knows what’s going on with me right now. That’s the price they will pay.
