Hot Takes
Brief expressions of sarcasm and hyperbolic declarations, some of which may have as much basis in fact as your typical trope
Dr. Evil’s father was correct, chestnuts are lazy
Some are, anyhow. Or is that water chestnuts? Those are super fab in stir-fry, though. When is the last time anyone’s seen a regular chestnut? They’re just for evoking English Christmas tradition, yeah? I’m not sure they’re real.
Arugula is awful and no salad should never be made from the bitter leaf
’Tis a quite yummy topping pizza. Toss them in olive oil. When the pie’s cooked, place the arugula leaves on top and give another minute or two in the oven. The leaves become brighter and bring out the flavor, as with most veggies. The bitter cuts the grease nicely. Saying arugula has no place being the sole ingredient in a salad due to bitterness is akin to judging a fish on how well it climbs a tree.
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Don’t you dare tell me how I might eat Arugula
If I want it as the sole ingredient in a salad, I’ll have it that way. Tough to break this fake rule, however, and it still be good. Gotta pair the arugula salad with something fatty or buttery that needs the balance. So, I broke the fake rule as the bitter green was match for this morning’s melancholy. Probably won't do so again for a while and am hopeful no such match is fitting.
Never give unsolicited advice on how to light a grill
Don’t be an asshole. You’re probably at someone’s house and most often the grill lighter is male. You shouldn’t do this if a woman is lighting the grill, either, yet is less risky. She’s a chic and she’s heard mansplaning her whole life. You won’t do any damage, she’ll just think less of you. But if you’re talking to a guy, what, you’re just gonna emasculate him in his own home in front of his friends and family? DON’T BE A FUCKING ASSHOLE! While there has never in the history of human existence been an instance when a woman gave unsolicited advice to a man on how to light the grill, obviously you should not do this either. Girl on girl advice is cool, though.
Anyhoo, I’ll give you some in the here and now: Never grill with softwood. The food’ll come out tasting like George Brett’s most famous home run bat.
In apocalyptic films and series, hope for the world to end
I root not for the world to be saved, but to have it put out of it’s misery. This might qualify as a cold take over a hot one. [spoiler alert] Shows like Umbrella Acadamy and the film Melancholia are so comforting. Oh, the sweet release as all existence ceases!
Additional hot takes may be added as they arise
