I like me…
I recently watched the Netflix special : “I like me”, about comedic actor John Candy. I laughed, and cried — I wondered why it took so long for them to release a documentary about him considering he died around 31 years ago. An yes it almost made me vomit to write that since it seems like forever ago.
My dad and I used to watch him a lot when I was child. In fact, he was one of my fathers, and by proxy — one of my top favorite actors of the time. I’ve seen most of his classic movies including some of his SCTV stuff. He really was a one of a kind actor. Especially being a ‘bigger’ framed actor at the time which was probably very rare for starring in leading roles.
I actually remembered when he died and how I felt, like the world lost an amazing soul. Of course it was great to learn from his documentary that he was as kind and gracious of a person in real life as he was with the characters he portrayed — which coincidentally were mostly based on himself. Someone who wanted to be a positive role model, and set a good example for people, families, and especially children.
Perhaps that’s why he was so relatable. He had the soul of a child in the body of a large man. At first glance you were unsure if this was the kind of person that would want to harm you, but then you quickly realized that he was literally someone who just never lost the essence of being child-like, and wanted to share that energy with the world. And I think many children tend to relate to adults like that. It’s that they sensed in him a person who could talk to them with respect instead of simply a person of authority who wants them to sit down a shut up. Although I’m not discounting that there are some children who that advice would still greatly apply.
John Candy was a people pleaser, and I can relate having been one for most of my life as well. He’s also a grand representation of the negative consequences that can occur from being a people pleaser, and constantly worrying about others before yourself. Now of course I’m not criticizing him for being the kind of person that thought about and put others before himself, in fact — quite the opposite. In a perfect world, people like him would be praised more for these actions as opposed to the entertainment and other things he provided for people. But most of the time for people pleasers, they tend to destroy themselves for the sake of making people happy, who oftentimes are simply taking without giving much if anything back — and oftentimes I feel it comes at the cost of losing pieces of yourself in the form of your emotional and physical health. As many of us know, the moment you stop giving everything of yourself to others, they tend to vanish from your life simply as you have nothing more to be constantly offering them.
Now I know there’s always exceptions to the rules. I’m not trying to say everyone is like this. Or even that everyone in your life or his life was that way. But if I had a dollar for every story like that I HAVE heard, well you can be sure I’d be able to buy you a pretty fancy lunch at the very least…
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I’m sure if I were to dig around in my couch cushions for a point that I’m trying to make, I’d like to say that first, it’s OK to do for others, but it’s also important to do for yourself as well. They call it ‘self-care’, I’m sure you’ve heard of it. Now how to actually do this is way outside the scope of this brief musing, but I can say that it took me a long time to figure it out myself.
John Candy was a large man who actually WAS very active in life. At least in the sense that he was always hustling and trying to find the next project to work on so he could 1) support his family, and 2) entertain his fans.
At one point in my life, I didn’t really do shit at all. I was just getting pretty large myself — always eating, never exercising. Doctors would tell me that if I didn’t start to diet and exercise and lose weight, I would probably be dead by my 30’s. After a while, I couldn’t deny that they were right and so I know I had a choice to make.
As for John Candy, he too was on the path, but just so happened to work in an industry that’s know to chew actors up and spit them out. So it was no wonder he was scared to lose weight as to not be relatable anymore… And don’t get me wrong, I love my big people. I have no issues at all with large people, and some people actually wear it very well. If health wasn’t ever a factor in size, I say fuck it — be huge, you BIG beautiful bastard!
But realistically, we live in a world where being large can, and often does have health consequences. And it’s even more difficult because we live in a society where fast and processed foods in all of their glorious tastiness have that side effect of increasing calorie counts. It’s almost like buying lots of random crap on your credit card. After a while, you realize that you’ve bought so much shit and now you have a hefty debt. If we’re constantly consuming and not exercising, we may find our health deficits compounding exponentially. And it’s not just large people that can be affected by these kinds of health issues.
I was literally in my 20’s when my Doctor told me I would be dead by 30. It’s quite the wake up call…
I’m not sure if this is kind of article that John Candy would have wanted someone to write about him and health in general. But despite how it may sound, I actually hoped it would serve as a beacon of inspiration to others from the perspective of someone who was actually there at a young age.
Either way, I’m glad they finally decided to make a documentary about John and give him the recognition he deserved — in being the inspiration and relatable role-model he was to so many people, myself included as a child. I think it couldn’t have come at a better time too — reminding us it’s always in fashion to be kinder to others, as well as ourselves…
