July 14
July 14
I am not nonbinary any more
than I am nonheterosexual.
My genderqueerness is no more defined by what I am not
than my queerness is.
The categories that box us into
controllable, exploitable, nuclear units
do not define me, and I will not define myself against them.
I will not spend my time, my heart, my life looking over my shoulder.
I will not accede my identity
to patriarchy, to empire.
I will acknowledge that
these threats exist;
I will not define myself on
their terms.
I am queer as in dismantle the state.
I am genderqueer as in fuck you.
I’ve grown tired of seeing my gender identity listed under the “nonbinary umbrella” all week.
Please be aware on Nonbinary Awareness Day: not all of us who identify in ways that are not conventionally recognized consider ourselves nonbinary.
The binary is a creation of patriarchy and is a tool of empire. I want nothing to do with it, and I certainly don’t want it in my self-identity, even in the negative.
I respect my nonbinary siblings who find validation, connection, and solidarity in the term. I have enjoyed and appreciated your expressions this week and today. I do not oppose the use of the term to describe you, I oppose its use to describe me.
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I oppose the cheerful imposition of the “nonbinary umbrella” by queers (and “allies”) who often appear more invested in respectability than in liberation. I offer these words as an counterpoint to the assimilatory push that I am witnessing this Nonbinary Awareness Week.
If nonbinary works for you, if it is validating, I support you in identifying in a way that fits for you.
If the term nonbinary, the concept, doesn’t sit well, even if you feel it must technically apply, I invite you to move beyond nonbinary.
You do not have to define yourself against the terms of the dominant culture.
You do not have to acknowledge what you are not when you describe what you are. You can define yourself on your own terms.
You do not have to call yourself nonbinary. You do not need to acknowledge the binary at all in your own identity.
This week, today, I wish for you awareness of yourself. I wish for you community and connection and recognition of your unique identity. Regardless of how you identify, or if you identify at all. I love you.
Happy July 14th.
