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ADHD in Adult Women: My Diagnosis at 33
Originally published on Sips of Cha
The first 30 years of my life seemed like a long rehearsal for a role that wasn’t mine. Something I’ve observed over time — in myself and in other girls — is a silent phenomenon: girls who start life being expansive, talkative, curious, intense… and who gradually, even before adolescence, lose the sparkle in their eyes and the enthusiasm that once pulsed through everything they did. It’s as if a light is being gently dimmed so that they fit better into the world around them.
For me, this erasure began between the ages of 7 and 9, when I had my first panic attacks — an early break with my sense of security in the world. In my teens, episodes of depression became more frequent, and at the age of 14 I found an emotional anchor in Buddhist philosophy that, in a way, saved my youth. Just to give you an idea, throughout my academic career, I changed schools seven times. I never felt like I belonged anywhere. It was as if my presence was always a little out of place, as if I were a crooked piece trying to fit into straight systems.
At university, I noticed a pattern that bothered me: I would leave studying until the day before exams, spending entire nights trying to absorb the content. And, curiously, if I liked the subject, I would just revise it and do well in the exams — because I paid…
