The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.
I was in the middle of my workday, a million miles away, when a friend’s text popped up: "How can I get better at speaking English… fast?"
My first thought was, "Why on earth are you asking me?" All that knowledge is long gone from my memory. If it were about test-taking strategies or essay formats, the kind of stuff you just have to cram and memorize, I might still know a thing or two.
What’s the real secret to getting better at speaking, and fast? I racked my brain for a long time, and then it finally hit me!
The only reason I ever became fluent in English was my conversation teacher! She might have been a little impatient, but she was an outstanding teacher.
She spoke fast, but with clear pronunciation; she could talk for ages, but her vocabulary was always down-to-earth.
The teacher would always chat about interesting things in class, for example, why her English name was Shelly.
I forget why, but I distinctly remember her telling us her sister’s name was Diana, the princess , and when she looked up her own name’s meaning, she discovered Shelly meant… a sheep.
She was completely baffled why her parents would name her sister after a princess, yet give her a name that means a sheep.🐑
Two years ago, I took every single class she offered. That was when my English was at its absolute peak, partly because the teacher was super strict and forcing us to give presentations was so immensely effective.
I definitely have to recommend this excellent teacher to my friend!
But my friend is so socially anxious that the moment they heard the teacher was a bit tough, they completely flinched.
So, her asking me to go to class with her is honestly perfect, because my English speaking has taken a nosedive, and I’m now like a three year old who can only manage to spit out simple words.
Let’s be real, the current environment makes it tough for anyone who wants to get good at English conversation.
When I first switched my major from English to design, it was a massive adjustment.
My English teachers all called me Meredy, but my design teachers call me by my full Chinese name. I’ll never forget one time during roll call, the teacher called out, “XXX is here?"
I was still wondering, “Who is that? The teacher just called her name, why doesn’t she hurry up and raise her hand?” Turns out, that person was me.
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Sometimes I’ll even forget how to say things in Chinese. For example, my mind will be stuck on the English word and I’ll have to consciously remind myself of the Chinese equivalent: Syllabus → 課程大綱, Deadline → 截止日期, Password → 密碼, Pattern → 圖案.
They’re all just such simple words, but you lose them if you don’t use them. I guess my brain can only hold so much.
Back then, there was this clique of girls who tried to ostracize me because they thought I was so fake and pretentious. “How could anyone possibly forget how to speak Chinese?” they’d say.
I remember one time, I was simply telling someone in Chinese that I’d updated the schedule, but I used the English words “Google Calendar” in the middle of the sentence. Because of that, they immediately called me so pretentious.
In Taiwan, using English words in the middle of a Chinese sentence can sometimes be seen as pretentious or an attempt to show off.
However, it’s Google Calendar! Doesn’t everyone know what that is as soon as they hear it? It’s just like Facebook, Messenger, or email!
So, by their logic, does that mean we’ll have to start calling SketchUp “three-dimensional modeling software ” (三維建模軟體)? And CPU, “central processing unit” (中央處理器)?”
Because of that, I went out of my way to avoid speaking English at school. I didn’t even dare to use the word “Instagram” instead of just “IG,” or to use “email” instead of the Chinese term, “電子郵件”.
Was I really being that pretentious?
At least I didn’t say, “The completion date for this academic assignment is next week. Remember to transmit it to the instructor via electronic mail and affix your draft to the message.” Now that’s what you call being pretentious, right?
My friend later told me she wanted to study for the TOEIC. So do I!!!!!! I finally found a study partner, and I was so moved I was practically in tears.
Because I have this terrible habit of needing to be forced to study. Left to my own devices, I’ll always start a new vocabulary list on day one and then completely abandon it.
But there’s no way I could just go up to my English teacher and ask, “Can you force me to study?” Once I put that out there, if the teacher agreed, I’d be trapping myself in a contract with no way out. If she really pushed me and I was too lazy to study, the whole situation would get really ugly and embarrassing.
I have no idea how I even managed to study for the GSAT (General Scholastic Ability Test) back in high school. But maybe it’s because the TOEIC content is so focused on business and work, which is really boring. The GSAT, on the other hand, had all sorts of topics, so it was actually more interesting.
My friend said, “I think my English is terrible, and I’m not sure if I’m good enough for this class. Will I just get yelled at by the teacher all the time?” She also brought up the point that, “And I kind of want to learn how to write, because if I go on a working holiday to the U.S., I might need to do some writing.”
I feel like my English is terrible right now too, but my past glory wasn’t a lie. I just haven’t used it in a long time. I should still be capable of taking this class. Besides, if we give the teacher a heads-up, she’ll probably turn a blind eye.
I’m not sure how much help I can be with writing. I mean, I used to be really good with formatting, and I’ve been writing English essays all this time. But ever since I stopped having a teacher to keep me in check, I’ve been super sloppy and just writing without any regard for the rules. I even ask Gemini to check my grammar without ever trying to learn from my mistakes. It’s a truly terrible habit. This is the real reason I’m not improving.
I used to be an English teaching assistant for a special education class. Now it looks like the tables have turned, and I’ll be the student.
