One cannot get through life, I’m guessing, without having to deal with some level of government bureaucracy. It’s part of the culture, as it’s often the butt of popular jokes and tall tales. In a way it’s a thread that ties us all together as we talk about the lines of the DMV or the time we had to actually go to the Social Security Administration.
So, no surprise when Steve and I headed to ID NYC this week to get our New York ID cards. Now, we didn’t really need these cards — they don’t provide us with much other than the remote possibility we might someday want to use some NY government service which requires them. BUT they do say “I’M A LEGIT NEW YORKER” unlike anything else. Even more than a Metro Card, which any tourist can get, or a Met Membership card or a cap with NY on it.
You have to prove you live here, with a document that says you live here, but only some documents are accepted, of course. (I get it, easy to spoof or not clear proof). You have to also prove you are who you say you are, so you need a Passport or some other government document with a photo and a seal.
Not a problem (I thought!), as I have a passport and I have many things now with my address in NYC on it. The website said 1099s were good, so I took my 1099-R which is my annual tax report from my retirement annuity.
First up, though we had to get an appointment. Appointments are only released on Friday afternoons for the following week. This proved tricky as the first time we tried, we didn’t think to check early and all the appointments were gone. The next week we went on-line early Friday afternoon and were able to find two appointments for us that were just 20 mins. apart — perfect! Uh, not so, the following week, that Tuesday when our appointments were scheduled was also the Tuesday of the big snowstorm, dumping 4" in a few hours. We hesitated to go out into it, so ended up cancelling our turns.
So, that Friday we tried again, and again were able to get two appointments within 30 mins of each other. Great.
The day of our appointments, Steve and I hopped on the M15 (yay, a bus!) down to 14th and walked over to 16th and 5th. It was a relatively painless ride tho’ a bit of a chilly walk (36 F that afternoon), but we got to the building in plenty of time.
Entering the building you have to figure out where to go. Multiple people standing in the hallway, who look like they might work there, watched our faces and could see we were unsure. They told us to turn left and check in at room 108. No problem, headed to room 108 and walked in. Here, it also was unclear what to do — there were some roped off lanes, but no one in them. There was a person in a small booth to our right, and some people by some computers to our left. Again, the look on our faces (‘what do I do now?’) was obvious and the person in the little booth said “Why are you looking at me — look at her!” pointing to one of the several people standing by the computers. Just then 3 people peeled off, leaving a single individual, whom from the looks of her, you would never know she worked there — but she did.
We walked up to her and told her we were there for our IDs (there are many other services in that same building). She proceeded to tap a computer screen, clicking buttons without hardly looking and produced, in what I would consider record time, two sheets with large black numbers on them. Her speed was so great I mentioned that she must do this a million times a day, to which she very quickly agreed while at the same time rolling her eyes. She pointed to the next locale we were to head, and off we went.
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Heading down the hallway, there were more uniformed folks along the way who pointed us forward, so we were pretty sure we had the right spot. We entered a room which looked eerily like a DMV and we were soon to find out worked much like the DMV. First up, if you have an appointment (which we both did) you head over to a block of cubicles and form a sort of line along the outer walls of the cubicle to wait for a person around the corner of those cubicles to call you over. This was not an obvious thing to do! Someone told us, and told the next person that entered, and the next. It was so not obvious, she pretty much had to tell everyone who came in.
Finally got to the window and the woman looked over our documents, gave us numbers (just a number on a card, nothing related to that earlier number we had gotten). We looked at our numbers, which were consecutive (45 & 46) so we assumed, stupidly, that they were calling all of us in order. And when I say all of us, I mean the 40 or so people crammed into two small, very crowded cubicles. Fun times! But, we were wrong because pretty quickly they called 96. The person next to us held up his number (90) and said, hey what about me? The answer was that the numbers are not called in order. Doh, that should be a sign or something.
We squeezed into a few chairs in the larger cubicle (after several people shuffled their butts and phones) to wait. But not long after we sat, someone called my number (which I didn’t expect, since there were clearly lots of people ahead of us) and when I didn’t respond, my name, which of course, I recognized and immediately went forward for.
The woman stood in the little hallway created by the cubicles and asked if I work for Stanford University (the ‘from’ name on the 1099) and I said no, I’m retired from there. She asked what the document was; I told her it reported my retirement earnings so I could report it on my taxes. She left me for a minute and returned saying ‘we don’t take that one’ — although I had read they take 1099s, apparently only certain 1099s.
She asked if I had anything else — I did happen to bring along a few other pieces of mail with my address on it, but none of them seemed of interest. She asked if I had a utility bill and I told her I get those electronically. I pulled the latest one up on my phone so she could see. You’d think that would be enough, but no, it had to be printed. She suggested I just run over to the Staples (“it’s just across the park”) and get it printed. Doesn’t need to be in color. Only need the front page showing my address, the date and the company.
Ok, better than going through all this again at some future date, I headed out to Staples. Another bit of an ordeal as things there don’t work all that well either — took me at least 15 minutes to get something printed. The guy at the desk apparently felt sorry for me (for transfers not working, printers not working, paper being out, etc.) that he gave me the print out for free(!).
So back to IDNYC to fulfill my destiny. When I got there, I wasn’t quite sure what to do so I stood in the little next-to-the-cubicle line again and when I got to the front, it was a different person than the first time, so he didn’t know me from Adam. I explained all that had happened (I still had my 46 card) and he took my documents and I sat down.
Steve had completed his duties while I was gone (he had brought 10 or so documents, one of which was a good one!) so he explained that they would call me up, review the docs with me, enter all of my data into their computer so they could print a copy of the document that we completed ourselves before we got there. Then a signature, picture and done.
And that’s sort of what happened. The first woman who had scrutinized my documents and had sent me to Staples saw me as she walked by the customer cubicles and asked me what I did with my docs. I told her I gave them to the guy. She looked a bit exasperated but got the set from the guy and went back to her cubicle.
I was still number 46 so I waited to be called again. Number 90 came and went as did number 19. (who had just entered when I had returned). Finally the same woman came around the cubicles and looking directly at me said to c’mon. I did. She reviewed everything with me again and had me sign things. She had me verify all of my entries again. At this point she and I were laughing at it all - I was so surprised she could maintain this wonderful attitude working with idiots like me (honestly, couldn’t I have just figured out which document I needed to bring and bring it?!?)
I asked her how she did it — she said she likes helping people, but also that she’s very near retirement and she’s looking forward to that!
I got my photo taken and that was that. Phew! Sort of — we still have to wait for the card — two to three weeks from now! Then we’ll really be legit.
