Why do we objectify people?
The person you have in front of you is an experience within yourself.
This is the action that may seem to bring more safety within ourselves, but it does bring loneliness and separation. That is a big price to pay…
We have learned that is normal to believe: “you are there, I’m here”, “I play my role, you play yours”, “then I go home, I can take away the costume and finally relax”. Or we can even forget we once placed a costume and never take it away again.
It is quite an energy-draining activity to do this, and pretty much harming for our pure essence inside ourselves, that believes we are right the way we are. But this play seems to be safer, keeps us freer of judgment, and makes us able to belong to a lifestyle and group in a way that we can predict better what is coming ahead.
But, the separation that comes with it, can not only make us create non truly connected relationships, but that can also create a big distance with the part of ourselves that is pure and that makes possible for us, to be truly happy.
At some point, we are so absorbed by that role, that we lose perspective, it seems that we have to change the things outside of ourselves to fill ourselves wholly and at peace. To feel that we are alright. To feel that we are not failing.
Then, we have no choice but to step out of that role for a little bit…
When we do not own our thoughts and our emotions, they own us. Then the mind is going on like a horse without a rider. The fast train is going, and your opportunity to be present seems to be harder and harder to achieve, that part of us that is able to “just be”, is there, seeing the train moving at a fast pace, not seeing a chance to stop it, and having a bit of time to enjoy feeling itself, with our whole being.
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That eventually makes us needy of external things, and seems like holding on to “our world” as we know it, doing our best to keep its pieces together, or achieving what is “missing” for it to work, will finally give us that peace. Draining then, more and more energy as we follow those urges, while truly we are in search of peace and harmony of our lives.
Why do not we just, stop?
Because that sets us aside from the world that keeps moving, it may trigger some FOMO (fear of missing out) or make it look that all the efforts we did, are going to waste if we stop for some time. But, what it truly is, is that we are feeling that distance we created away from the balanced part of ourselves, and we do not want to face that big gap, cause it hurts, just too much!
How could not we objectify people and allow ourselves to truly connect to other people, if we cannot connect to ourselves? Whatever relationship we are developing in our lives, engaging on that superficial level, is harming us much more than we think, and it does harm us, rather than harming others. It is us who are behaving as if there is something we need to hide, something that is not fine in our essence. And that subliminal message ends us becoming the biggest truth for us, as we spent most of our time behaving as such.
When we stop, we may see the truth, and then, we cannot unsee it. Then, we could realize that our controlled world may not be so controlled after all, and it has been built in bases that are not allowing us to feel truly fulfilled in our life.
At this stage, we either keep playing as if nothing changed in us and drain ourselves every day even more, or we go and look deeper into ourselves to find out patiently and with love, what is broken and abandoned there. To heal it and build that important relationship that will change your whole vision of life.
When you go there, you have no choice but to do an “all-in” to gain something. You have to risk your world to dismantle quite a bit, as it is not the roof, but the base, that was not steady.
I invite you to quietly go and start visiting that part of you, it may answer some questions you never dared to ask.
I invite you to go now and look at yourself in the mirror for a few minutes, straight in the eyes and say “I see you”.
I invite you, to live fully and truly.
I invite you to invite yourself, to be.
