Teaching English Online, Learning Compassion IRL: Finding Humanity While Working From Home
Lately it seems like the only time I hear people talking about China, it’s something negative. You’ve probably heard it too.
“They’re stealing our jobs.”
“Wuhan Virus.”
“The Chinese government created COVID-19 on purpose.”
I’m tired of the racism and the xenophobia, especially the rhetoric streaming from our President’s mouth. While I’ve never traveled to China, I do interact with Chinese children on a daily basis. I love them and learn so much from them. I was hearing about COVID-19 from these kids months before the first case ever appeared in The United States. With their school cancelled, they have been taking more supplementary online classes than ever.
I’ve been teaching for an online English teaching company, VIPKID, for the past twenty months or so. It started out as a job to make extra money the summer after I graduated from college, and has since parlayed into a full time job that has supported me through adventure across Asia and Europe.
I started with the company in its relatively nascent stages. I have watched its curriculum, platform, and workforce grow over two years into something vaguely mainstream. If you haven’t heard of it, one of your friends probably has.
Every workplace has its own fair share of quirks and horror stories, but one-on-one teaching via webcam with children on the opposite side of the world whose perception of American culture is KFC and The Chainsmokers is a recipe for delicious chaos.
Surprisingly, it is completely possible to teach a child English through twenty-five minute classes filled with lots of stuffed animals, exaggerated gestures, and booming exclamations of “Good Job!” Many of the children take other English lessons and come to VIPKID largely to develop their North American accent. They already know a lot of grammar and vocabulary, but want to practice conversation with a native speaker.
Ideally, a child would be in a quiet, educationally themed space, with a headset, quality computer or tablet, and a solid internet connection. Realistically, I have taught kids over the din of packed restaurants, in their parents’ busy clothing stores, and as they sit in the back of the car driving through the Chinese countryside with their wifi hotspot flickering on and off.
I’ve taught children in the hospital, sick and tired with IV needles penetrating their arms. I’ve taught children who were sitting on the toilet, constipated or otherwise ill, forced to come to class by parents who didn’t want to lose out on their educational investment. I’ve taught kids with naked grandmas and grandpas meandering across the screen, in both the foreground and the background. I’ve had little boys pull down their pants to show off their bodies. I’ve seen little girls lift up their shirts to point their chest out during lessons about body parts. I’ve been shown bizarre pets — iguanas, axolotls, chameleons, and rats. I’ve been introduced to family and friends at traditional holiday festivals and celebrations.
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I’ve taught siblings and twins, taught whole families at once. I’ve taught adults, clearly over the age limit, using their child as a mere prop to get on the platform. I’ve taught babies in cribs, too young to phonate even in their native language — parents pushing them to understand English before they can even speak Chinese.
I’ve taught naughty children who cussed me out from the moment I opened my camera. Angry children who shout and scream all their pent up anger at me. I once had a student throw me out his window. Well technically, he threw his iPad out the window of his skyscraper apartment in Shanghai. The internet connection gave out before I hit the ground, but for a brief moment it was almost like skydiving. I never saw that little boy again so I think it’s safe to say his iPad was pulverized. I can only hope I didn’t hit anybody on the head on my way down.
Unfortunately, there is a dark side to some of the fervor and vigor with which some of these parents approach educating their children. I’ve witnessed physical abuse. Flicking or pulling the child’s ear when they mispronounce a word. Slapping their cheek. Striking the back of their head. Repeatedly beating them on the back. I’ve heard the cries and screams once the child is dragged offscreen so I (the Western teacher) don’t judge the parent’s style of discipline. There are company policies for these kinds of things, but in those moments, my instinct is to be human, not to follow protocol. I recognize differences in culture that shape parenting styles, but my heart still aches when a child comes to class sobbing and hurt, or silent and detached. Sometimes I feel a twenty-five minute class is successful if, at the end, the child’s demeanor has brightened only slightly or I have managed to make them smile or laugh.
It can feel very frustrating to be involved in a child’s life but have virtually no access to help them. A traditional teacher might invite a parent into their classroom to chat, or contact a school counselor if they suspected difficulties at home. As an online teacher, I am forced into a much more laissez-faire approach. Connecting with kids quickly and fostering relationships of trust is important to me and critical to ensuring the best learning environment possible.
The most profound experience I’ve had with VIPKID, and really the reason I feel like life brought me to it, happened with a student living in Hangzhou, outside of Shanghai. The student’s name was listed as “Jenny.” The student was about fourteen when I first met them*, two years ago. We quickly developed a playful relationship where we would go through the curriculum quickly (the student has amazingly advanced English skills) so that we could chat for the last few minutes of class about our lives. Jenny found out that I liked music and confided in me about her favorite Chinese popstar named “August.” One day, Jenny asked me if I was gay, point blank. I wasn’t going to lie to her, though I have been reserved about my sexual identity and gender expression in the past (ie removing nail polish before teaching a class, only showing pictures of my family that don’t include my partner, etc) for fear of negative reviews from parents. I confirmed her suspicions, and she said that I seemed feminine, so it made sense to her.
Her crude understanding of gender identity combined with her genuine curiosity and care for me was touching. Over the course of the next three months, she would often ask about my boyfriend, ask to see pictures of us, and question me about aspects of gay culture and what it means to be gay, and specifically, to be gay in America. She would tease me about August, the popstar, and how funny she thought it was that we could both think he was cute.
Almost a year after our first class, Jenny requested that I start calling her Newt. Students are known to change their English names fairly often as they develop a new pop culture interest or discover a celebrity or character in a book they like or with whom they identify. In this case, Jenny had seen the new Harry Potter Universe movie, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. The protagonist’s name is Newt Scamander, a wizard of the twentieth century. I didn’t make a big deal out of it and told her that, of course, I would start calling her Newt. A few lessons later, Jenny asked me what the word “trans” meant. I’ll admit, at this point, I felt a little nervous. While we had become close, it pained me that this student had to ask me these things and couldn’t ask somebody closer to home (geographically and emotionally). I explained in simple terms what it means to be transgender. They listened very intently and then told me that “teacher, that is what I am. Trans.” My heart was filled with love and concern for this sweet person. I’ve researched a little what it means to be queer in China, and it sounds very difficult. Gay sex was only recently decriminalized and same-sex marriage remains illegal. It hurts me to think of Newt, and all queer Chinese people, who face legal and societal discrimination.
Newt and I often message on WeChat, a Chinese social media app, where we can talk somewhat freely. He asked if he could call me if he was ever having a hard time and I said yes. I didn’t think much of it but got a call in the middle of the night a couple of weeks later. He said that he was at school and experiencing some bullying from girls in his class. It broke my heart, but I was really happy that he felt comfortable enough to call me and talk it out.
Newt takes far less classes now on the VIPKID platform and he is ramping up to take important exams that will largely define his career path and life. We have talked about him leaving China to study at a university in a place with more progressive policies and stances towards queer people, but neither of us knows much about the process of securing a student visa or what it would look like to apply as an international student. Luckily, we are still able to talk on WeChat and we try to remain a part of each other’s lives.
Sometimes, it feels impossible being so far apart in so many ways. I want to reach through the phone and give him a hug and reassure him that it gets better. I worry. I want to visit him after COVID-19 has run its course and international travel is acceptable again, but I don’t even know how that would go. I would want to travel with my boyfriend, but who knows how Newt’s parents would really react to that. I hid my own identity for so long and it’s really not a safe or healthy option for me to hide myself again. I would want to go proudly as myself, but I would also want it to be a safe situation for me and for Newt.
Sometimes, the cultural barriers really seem too much. But I do know that I will always be here for him as much as I possibly can. I am so glad that we were able to find each other through the VIPKID platform. It has been rewarding to teach so many children and learn more about Chinese culture from them. I’ve started learning a little Mandarin and the students love to hear me speak a few words to them. I have a great appreciation for China and will likely spend much more of my life learning about it and its unique traditions and beautiful people. Video communication has broken so many global barriers and allowed us to make connections more widely and easily than ever before. If you’re interested in teaching English like me, send me a message! :-)
*I do not know which pronouns to use for the student. The language barrier for such a nuanced part of English has prohibited that. I have attempted to be as respectful and conscientious as possible throughout this piece.
