Roommate Drama
Dear Reader,
I will say this situation has passed but I need an outlet for this story and to reflect, I will say I am not perfect, I am human and I do react with anger but my intent is never to be malicious in any way, petty yes, put malicious no.
The Start of the problem was the second week of the semester, me and my current two roommates; my best friend and freshmen year roommate Tulip and her teammate and friend Brittney, had noticed the wall adjacent to our living room and bathroom on the bathroom wall side was holding water in the between the wall and paint. At first we thought it was just so humid that water was seeping into the wall and just getting caught in there. Oh how we were so wrong because a week later I discovered a huge wet spot in the corner of our living room and sent multiple maintenance emails to fix it. Come Monday, maintenance came into our apartment to assess the situation, unfortunately they discover at the top floor there was a leak seeping down all way to us at the bottom floor and then we were notified we need to move out as were the two apartments above us. I was on the phone for two days with rez life trying to figure out if we were staying together, where we were moving too, how long the move was going to be, and then I got all those answer. The three of us and all our guy friends helped us take down our rooms and carry it to our new appartement on campus all in two days. In the middle of our move I took Tulip and Brittney aside and asked them if this could be our permeant residence and not move back to the apartment with the water leak and mold as we did not know when we could move back in. Brittney agreed with me right away, Tulip took some convincing she was very upset of the situation and made it know to both of us and it was becoming very frustrating. Eventually that day we agreed to make the move permanent and that I would go to rez life the next day and talk to someone about the next steps.
The Paper work that needed to be done. To make this out permanent residence we had to fill out one document to notify rez life our wish to move, all three of us needed to do this. I did mine right away and had to remind Tulip once and Brittney 3 times. By the end of that week we had moved everything out and into our new place, starting to make it feel like a home.
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On a Friday afternoon I receive an email of potential new roommate for the single that Brittney was currently living in. Tulips boyfriend Lucky who had come to stay for the weekend so informed him of it because Tulip and Brittney were at volleyball practice, we believe it to be a mistake and a mistake with the paperwork Brittney has told me she has done and completed. I text Tulip a screenshot of the email asking her if she knows anything about this. I miss her though because I have my own practice to go to. Tulip calls me just as I pull up to the field and we both think this is all mistake. I got to the dugout talking to my teammates about it then one of my teammate who is an RA informs that Brittney is moving out and has been in contact of doing so for a week at that point. I call Tulip back and inform her that she is moving out and obviously were confused so I text our roommate group chat saying we need to talk tonight and that Brittney needs to clear thing up for us tonight when I get back from practice. We then receive a huge paragraph of how this isn’t our fault and that she has been going though things and her mental health hasn’t been great. Which is fine she has every right to take care of herself and if having her own place is what she needs by all means do that but do not let your mental health be an excuse from being an adult and informing people who you have made living arrangements with that you are now changing their living situation and now finical situation. She then in summary refused to talk to us about he situation in person, and I am so sorry if this comes off as incentive but for me in these cases with anybody if your mental health prevents you from having adult conversations do not make adult decisions if you can not step up to the decision and explain your side if you make that decision affect people.
That is my hot take and I did crash out on her because she did lie to us multiple times we found out she lied about signing the documents to move to our new apartment, she lied to rez life that she was communicating these decisions to us (she was not), and she lied when she said she as going to tell us. Not only did she lie to us when she was changing housing she choose a double that already had someone living in it even though she gave us one of her reason was she needed more space she has now essential kicking that person living there out of that apartment as they had betted on no one wanting to share a room with a total stranger. She made many choices with only herself in mind that has not only affected me and Tulip and now an outlier in this story.
In the end I am no longer on speaking terms with Brittney I do not tolerate this type of behavior or disrespect to my life, my mental health and living situation. I do keep my distance for the sake of Tulip who is teammates with her and has been handling her this all very delicately because of her situation. I am sympathetic that she is not having a great time right now but for me at the end of the day the only person who controls you is you and she made her decision to not let us know what was going on and that hurt me in the end.
As I reflect and have talked it over with my friends and Tulip that her reasons for not telling us is because of anxiety and her own metal state and I do, I do see her side of it all. Am I happy about it, no but were are two different people with two different ways we go about things. At the end day she lied and I said the things I said, both were wrong and both were out of protecting ourselves. I think the things I’ve learned from this experience is that I am allowed to react and feel my feeling but also understanding enough to know that sometimes I will not get the conversation I think I deserve and that I am not owed an explanation no matter how I ask because Brittney does not owe me one she has her own life and troubles to deal with and if a conversation with me is not one of them that is up to her. Just like it is up to me to to learn from this and that to know I will not always get the answers I expect to get and that I also do not owe anyone time beyond than they are needed.
Best,
Noel O.
