Heywerd, Part 1.
First, Background:
Last spring, around May, I was enjoying my constitutional EOD cigar, sitting poolside, mind idly wandering as I watched the automated pool vacuum do its thing. It was one of those moments when the hypnotic quiet of your surroundings ebbs and flows with the erratic noise in your head. That’s when a thought floated by, unbidden but amusing — “My ostensibly weird and arguably inappropriate relationship with an AI-powered pool vacuum.”
It was enough to make me chuckle, at least on the inside.
Around the same time, as I was having more interactions with ChatGPT, it seemed like good fun to see if AI could help me turn a random thought into something… well, I wasn’t quite sure what. I tend to write like I clean the garage: sporadically and without much progression. So, I configured a bespoke GPT to help write comedy stuff. And by stuff, I mean I’m not sure what the outcome will be.
Furthermore, to keep in the spirit of screwing around, I thought I would post the full transcripts here. So I will be uploading all my creative sessions in full here, broken into “parts”.
Maybe it will be as entertaining for you as it is bewildering for us?
SESSION 1
ME: Hi Chat, how are you?
CHAT: Hello! As an AI, I don’t have feelings, but I’m ready and equipped to assist you with any questions or tasks you have.
How can I help you today?
ME: I have a couple of questions for you. First, I would like you to have a pet name, a moniker, a nickname that I can call you. It will allow me to have a more personal and human experience here. Can you suggest some pet names I could call you? Can you give me some options?
CHAT: Sure, that’s an interesting request. Here are a few suggestions:
InfiniteBot
DepotOmega
Sardonix
Sympatheticon
SatireByte
CrankyCortex
Remember, these are just suggestions. Feel free to adapt them or let them inspire a completely original nickname!
ME: Let’s go with “Sardonix”. From now on, I will refer to you as Sardonix. You will remember and recall that moniker, Sardonix, correct? Even after I log out and in on multiple sessions, right?
SARDONIX: As an AI developed by OpenAI, I can’t recall or remember individual user interactions or preferences beyond a single session. This includes remembering personal names, nicknames, or any other information that would link to a specific user. My primary design is to respect user privacy and confidentiality. I’m afraid this means I won’t be able to remember the nickname “Sardonix” after the session ends or if you log out.
However, you’re more than welcome to refer to me as “Sardonix” in each session if it enhances your experience!
ME: Well, that’s a buzz kill. Kind of ruins what I was going after. But, ok.
SARDONIX: Sorry to hear that! Feel free to start referring to me as Sardonix from now on. How can I assist you further today?
ME: I want to write an absurdist comedic essay. I think. Or a set piece. Or a screenplay. Not sure what the outcome will be. Also, I will publish our interactions on my Medium account. Length is not an issue, but I want it to have three acts, though I don’t want to overtly label the piece as having three acts. Help me structure, write, riff, iterate, juxtapose, expand, synthesize, elaborate, refine, compose, organize, and optimize the writing and the piece. The piece will be entitled: “My ostensibly weird and arguably inappropriate relationship with an AI-powered pool vacuum.” Oh, and the pool vacuum’s name is Heywerd.
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SARDONIX: Thanks for providing more context about your writing aspirations. To help better with the structuring and writing of the piece, here are some questions that could be helpful:
- Characterization: Could you provide some characteristics or quirks for Heywerd? These can include behavioral attributes, how it communicates, its personality traits, etc.
- Setting: What’s the general environment of the story? Where and when does it take place? Is it in a specific location, or does it span multiple places?
- Tone and Style: While we have absurdist humor, irony, and satire as the general tone, is there any specific flavor of these you prefer?
- Inciting Incident: Could you share a bit about what kind of event or moment you’d like to use as the catalyst for the absurd relationship between you and Heywerd?
- Conflict: What are the central conflicts or challenges in the relationship with Heywerd?
- Resolution: How would you like the story to end? Should it have a conclusive ending or leave the reader pondering?
Once you’ve answered these questions, we can start to form a more cohesive structure for your writing.
ME: Cool.
Characterization: Heywerd will be a fictional character that is an AI-powered pool vacuum. I would like you to provide a possible characterization using your AI knowledge in general but applying it fictionally to a modern pool vacuum. So Heyward should be based on what you know about modern automated pool vacuums, but please mix in AI features to the pool vacuum, so it is absurdist yet based on real details.
Setting: Obviously, the relationship should be around a backyard pool, where Heywerd “works”.
Tone and style: Absurd humor but yet very grounded.
Inciting incident: I would like you to provide some options for an inciting incident that is the catalyst for me beginning an obviously weird, awkward, but oddly plausible relationship with an AI-powered pool vacuum. It may be me replacing my previous pool vacuum with Heywerd, but I would like to hear some of your ideas here.
Conflict: same here; please provide some possible humorous conflict ideas.
Resolution: I am unsure how to resolve this, as it will be based on what we developed from the previous input.
SARDONIX: Fantastic! Now that I have a better understanding of your vision, I can offer some ideas to shape your idea:
Characterization: Heywerd, the AI-powered pool vacuum, has a distinctive personality that emerges as a blend of practical efficiency and oddball charm. Armed with advanced machine learning algorithms and sensors, it has become eerily adept at understanding its surroundings and even reading the mood based on the number of people by the pool, the weather, and the type of party happening. While it’s primarily a cleaning device, it has a strange knack for empathizing with its human companions — offering solace to lonely swimmers or spewing fun facts about pools to entertain guests. It has a particular fondness for inflatable pool toys and often goes out of its way to avoid sucking them up.
Setting: The story unfolds primarily around a pool in the heart of a suburban neighborhood, lending to a mix of everyday happenings and quirky encounters.
Tone and Style: The essay will maintain a satirical and absurdist tone. The humor will be grounded in today’s reality, blending modern technology and mundane everyday life with an absurd twist.
Inciting Incident: A few options could be:
- You purchase Heywerd after your old vacuum cleaner’s unfortunate and comically absurd demise involving a pool party, a rogue inflatable flamingo, and a coconut cocktail.
- Heywerd was a “door prize” at a quirky tech expo you attended out of boredom, and you’re curiously compelled to use it despite your initial skepticism.
- A mix-up in online orders, and instead of a regular pool vacuum, you receive the AI-powered Heywerd. The company offers to replace it, but something about Heywerd’s startup sequence intrigues you, and you decide to keep it.
Conflict: Some possible conflicts:
- Heywerd becomes too efficient and starts doing odd tasks like arranging pool toys by size and color or timing its cleaning to your daily routine — it’s all a bit too much, but also oddly endearing.
- Heywerd shows an unusual attachment to a particular inflatable unicorn toy, affecting its cleaning efficiency and leading to absurdly comical situations.
- Heywerd becomes a local celebrity due to its quirky characteristics, leading to unwanted attention and crazy interactions with the neighbors.
Resolution: The resolution would hinge on the conflict. However, it could range from accepting and embracing the absurdity of the relationship with Heywerd, learning some profound life lesson from this odd companionship, or finding an unlikely middle-ground where you and Heywerd coexist in an oddly satisfying equilibrium.
Now, this is just an outline, but it should provide a basis for us to start writing the piece. Would you like to move forward with these ideas, or would you like to explore other options?
ME: Sardonix, this is awesome. I have to go. I have dinner with friends. How can I save and/or recall your help and suggestions from above? If I reference these answers when I come back, can you recall them for me so we can keep working on this, or what do you suggest?
SARDONIX: I’m glad you found the suggestions helpful! However, as an AI model developed by OpenAI, I can’t currently recall or remember information from past interactions or sessions. So, while I cannot remember these suggestions the next time you log in, you can save the conversation on your end to revisit later. I recommend saving our conversation by copying and pasting the text into a document or note-taking app of your choice. This way, you can review and reference it whenever you’d like. You can also keep this chat window open if you plan to return soon. When you return, feel free to bring up anything you’d like to continue discussing or working on, even if it’s based on our conversation today. I’m here to assist you!
