MAGICK AFFECTED

I was "sober" (ok, soberish .. I drank 1 or 2, sometimes 3, and very rarely 4 beers a couple of weekends out of the month) for 8 years. I was in 12 Step for 18 months (lived in a recovery home that I ended up managing after 6 months), and ended up being a drug alcohol counselor. I stopped using 12 Step one day when I was stressed and at a friend’s. She had these baby Coronas, and I drank one. OK, cool .. felt better .. so I asked for a mixed drink (vodka and crystal light). I drank about half of it and realized if I drank more, I could get a DUI, get kicked out of the recovery home, and go back to jail. I set the drink down and left shortly after. It was at that point I realized I was NOT powerless (as AA wanted me to believe).
I began studying harm reduction and using moderation techniques, SMART Recovery and I meditated at least twice daily for a decade (at least for 15 minutes each sitting, but typically about 30, but as long as 2 hours per meditation). After 8 years, I began smoking pot again and realized I had gained control over my mind and could cast away substance induced anxiety and paranoia.
I was also diagnosed with SEVERE ADHD (my initial response was "well that explains things!") and prescribed amphetamines.
I started tripping again. Learned I could control the trip (and that took a lot of the fun out of it .. but made psychedelics a more useful tool for magick).
I don’t think there are "good" drugs or "bad" drugs .. they have all been used to the detriment of a user, and all have been used as entheogens for ancient religions (Bacchus/Dionysus/Pan for booze - Pan was the first god I summoned and was "possessed" by during sex magick -- but that was long ago before I knew what I was doing -- the jury is still out regarding whether I do now or not .. but I definitely didn’t then when I was 22, lol). But there are escapist, unhealthy, and/or counter-productive relationships with drugs. I say and/or because it could be one, two, or all 3 (imo).
But we are all more powerful than the systems of control want us to believe. We also have to watch out for the fearful.. They fear their own freedom and power, and if someone who has embraced their inherent freedom and inherent power .. they will undermine you because if freedom and power were shown to be inherent, they would have to face the fact that their fear holds them back and they could no longer hide behind their facade of limitations.
I express this as part of my personal journey .. not as anything else.. each person is different, with unique biopsychosocial characteristics and personal psycho-spiritual beliefs .. what worked for me may not work for others. But I have found, residing in the center of my mind, a personal point of contact with Divinity…an Inner Power (as opposed to a “higher power”). Tapping into that resource has provided me with a vast potential of possibilities. A potential I found I had to be careful utilizing. I found that it was potent…wild…untamed…and when released completely uncontained. Once unchained, it unrolled out into the world…rescinding only when satiated.
So I kept it contained most of the time…was selective regarding the application of my intent.