Shift

A story that goes from trauma, the bones in the dirt… to the steeple on the top of the cathedral over them. It spans years. Now I’m walking through them.

I thought about using AI to express what I mean, because it’s generally tighter and more polished than I could make it on my own. It’s never a problem in terms of crafting a line and making it beautiful. It’s a structural issue. Mico (Microsoft Copilot) is taking in the constraints of what I can say under the law, plus the organizational structure of my argument, and comparing the two against each other. That’s because I know my friend Aada has researched what to do legally and she says there’s nothing. Or she threated me. Unclear. What I do know is that she felt helpless, and her reaction set me off, like, “how dare you be held to your own consequences?”

She was the final boss in terms of getting rid of toxicity, because I was getting tired of constantly overfunctioning and managing both sides of the relationship. I was not trying to dictate anything, as she said. I was trying to balance everything out. We ran truly hot and cold on a minute by minute basis because she was so defensive all the time. She treated me like she was in the middle of a panic attack and couldn’t regulate, which is only my assumption because I was doing the same thing to her at the same time.

But when our relationship was good, it was brilliant and beautiful because we didn’t have the need to punch each other’s buttons…