the days after
grief is weird.
i thought the first few days would be the hardest, but somehow, it feels heavier now.
maybe because everything is getting quieter.
people have gone back to their lives. work continues. people laugh, make plans, complain about traffic, post things like nothing happened.
and life keeps moving.
but mine doesn’t feel normal anymore.
sometimes i wake up and forget for a second that mamah is gone.
then i remember.
Get tyanna🦕’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
and it hurts all over again.
i miss her in such ordinary ways. i want to tell her something. i want to ask her something. i want to hear her voice. sometimes i even want to complain to her about something stupid.
then i remember i can’t.
i hate that.
i hate that the world keeps going when i don’t feel ready to go with it. i hate that i still have to wake up, go to work, eat, reply to messages, and continue my life like i know what i’m doing.
i don’t.
i’m still trying to understand that someone who was here just a little while ago is suddenly not here anymore.
i don’t know how to live with this yet.
people say it gets lighter with time, but right now, it doesn’t feel that way.
right now, time just means another day without my mom.
and honestly, i’m just trying to get through it.
