Lost Identity
I believe that a person spends half their life fighting in the name of religion.
They keep fighting for what they perceive as religion, yet they never pause to consider who—or what—they are actually fighting for, and why.
Could it be that what they mistake for religion is, in fact, merely the beliefs and traditions of society?
To me, religion means understanding one’s duties toward one’s own life and existence. However, people often conflate religion with society. They adopt societal norms as their own religion and dedicate their entire lives to upholding them.
They begin to place immense importance on the opinions of people who might not even be there for them when they are truly in need. Gradually, they forget that they possess their own preferences, their own thoughts, and a distinct identity of their own.
Is it truly necessary to prove others wrong in order to validate one’s own beliefs?
Believing that your own ideas and convictions are correct does not necessitate belittling others. You may disagree with someone’s thoughts or actions, but disagreement does not justify insults or the creation of a hierarchy where some are deemed superior or inferior to others.
Every individual has their own perspective. What seems right to you may not necessarily be right for someone else. Yet, when a person begins to believe that they alone are correct — and that everyone else is wrong — they stop trying to understand others and start imposing their own views upon them. Perhaps this mindset is precisely what distances a person from their true self.
The influence of society gradually permeates every aspect of an individual’s life. From how they dress, walk, sit, eat, or what items they use, to how they live, when they sleep, and when they wake—even their daily habits become dictated by societal norms.
They begin to do exactly what those around them do, and they come to accept as “right” whatever society deems to be so. But amidst all this, one question gets lost—
What do I like? What do I truly want? And am I living my life on my own terms?
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People often set aside their own preferences to fulfill the expectations of others. They begin to believe that their entire existence belongs to society and the people around them. In the pursuit of keeping society happy, they become so entangled that they sometimes end up neglecting their own families—the very people who truly need them.
The irony is that the people whose approval they seek—at the cost of their own preferences, thoughts, and peace of mind—might not even stand by them when they are truly in need.
Yet, they continue to place greater importance on the opinions of others than on their own lives.
But why?
Perhaps because, from childhood, they have been taught to worry about what society will think, what people will say, and how crucial it is to remain “right” in the eyes of others. In this process, however, no one teaches them that understanding oneself, recognizing one’s own preferences, and remaining authentic to one’s own life is equally — if not more — important.
Many spend half their lives caught up in these beliefs and internal struggles. They never pause to reflect on what they once desired, what they are currently doing, and whether they are genuinely happy.
They even begin to seek peace through the approval of others — whereas, in reality, true peace can often be found simply by setting aside societal expectations for a while and being alone with oneself.
I, for one, would not even label a mindset — where a person lives entirely for others and, in the process, forgets their own self — as “religion” or “society.”
Because, to me, religion or any belief system should not distance a person from their own existence; rather, it should foster a deeper awareness of one’s own life and responsibilities.
Ultimately, the question is not how society perceives us. The question is: if we stop viewing ourselves through the eyes of others, will we be able to discover our true identity?
Could it be that, in our attempt to keep others happy, we have forgotten to live our own lives?
After all, while a person can certainly exist according to the expectations of others, can they truly be said to be living?
