WHAT LOVE REALLY IS NOT “SHOULD BE.”
I know this is a longer writing, but this one is worth reading.
I am a weird character. I don’t fit into any of your standard archetypes. I’m not just a biker, not just a thinker, not smart, not dumb, not happy, not sad, not angry, not mad. It feels like I was born an old soul who simply sees the world completely differently — a permanent black sheep. It’s almost like that scene in The Matrix where the code becomes visible to you while everyone else just sees a wall of noise. I absolutely hate all these hyper-religious online gurus and self-help influencers, but I’ve always had some strange, unexplained connection to how the gears of reality actually turn.
When I look over apps like Instagram, all I see is a totally performative, glossed-over version of reality. In other words: a lie. In particular, it is selling modern women a bill of goods that is total bullshit.
And look, I completely understand the trap. I was in the entertainment industry, and I was very successful in it. When you are young and dumb, being fake is a hell of a lot of fun. But there is a massive, structural contradiction in pretending you are a model, getting drunken and half-naked, and slapping Miami, New York, Chicago on your profile while living off your parents’ dime. When you are completely lost in that chaos, never finding the center of who you actually are, you will easily skip right over a thousand good men. They will seem “boring” to you, simply because the digital noise has completely deafened your soul.
Big trucks, Lamborghinis, trips, dance clubs, concerts, makeup, and high-end bullshit are all wonderful. But did you ever notice how loud those events are while you’re there? When you are constantly surrounded by noise, your brain forgets that anything else exists. Growing up in the city teaches you that reality. It’s exactly like the feeling you get when you finally take a trip out into the country and the volume gets turned down to zero. This is why people seek out the roar of the city when they are young, but when they get older, they just want to be left alone — or at the very least, find quiet.
The real love that everyone pretends to search for online cannot be found, and it cannot be proven, in the noise. Real love is entirely non-performative.
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It is the silent, invisible infrastructure of protection. It is making sure her car has gas, the oil is changed, and that it won’t break down on her whenever she has to drive away from you. It’s her noticing that you are grinding yourself to the bone and asking if you’ve eaten, because she knows you won’t stop unless she asks. It is occasionally sitting through some horrible movie you would never watch on your own, just because it makes her happy. It’s forcing him to go to the doctor when he stubbornly refuses to go himself. It isn’t hitting the crowded bar; it is spending a quiet Sunday morning waking up next to each other, brushing the hair out of her face while she’s still half-awake, and waiting for that slow smile. It is sitting next to one another in absolute silence because you simply wouldn’t want to be anywhere else on earth. When you are there, you finally know you are safe.
The modern world is actively engineered to destroy people. It is a chaotic, non-stop war zone designed to drain your spirit. If the wilderness outside your door is that hostile, then why the fuck is everyone focused on buying a temporary, five-day vacation instead of investing in a permanent sanctuary away from the chaos?
That is what a partner is actually supposed to be: an investment in the calm.
Every single majorly successful person in history — from elite athletes to business moguls — has to find a quiet home to survive the pressure. All these crazy motherfuckers on the internet talking about meditation, Zen, or mindfulness apps are completely disjointing the message. They deliberately break up the ancient truths of Eastern philosophy and biblical practices into expensive, separate commodities because if they told you the whole truth, it wouldn’t make them any money.
If they admitted that your home is supposed to be a peaceful sanctuary of total alignment — a literal fortress of balance where your environment, your food, your mind, and your relationship all lock together — their entire industry would blow apart. You wouldn’t need to hire their psychologists or buy their wellness apps. If you just understand that your inner life is the actual sanctuary away from social media — whether you filter that through Eastern philosophy, Jesus, Islam, or whatever path keeps you grounded — that peace becomes the ultimate bucket list.
The defining difference in love is shown in the other 360 days of the year when you aren’t on a temporary vacation. Those expensive trips are mostly spent traveling, burning cash, and taking photos just to prove to strangers that you were there. The destination never actually matters. It has always been about the quiet days in between. It is about being together to be together — no matter where you go, what you do, or how good or bad the destination ends up being.
You build a healthy life you can actually be proud of, together. Because when everything else finally disappears — the jobs, the money, the fake internet friends, and the noise — the fortress you built is the only thing left standing.
So if my ultimate goal is to build a life and a sanctuary where two people feel safe and loved and find peace, not only did I accomplish the greatest career goal I could ever have, but it would make me ego-stroking richer than 99% of the world who is clueless and miserable because they invested in the wrong things. I think God would be good with that because if we cut the shit, sounds good to me.
