Know What
“Okay soldier, what is your name?”
“Kno.”
“NO! YOU TELL ME YOUR NAME!”
“Right, Kno.”
“What is your name?”
“Watt is my last name.”
“What is your last name?”
“That’s correct.”
“We’re going around in circles here. Tell me your first name.”
“Kno.”
“Give me twenty push-ups, soldier.”
The soldier did the push-ups. “Now, private, what is your first name?”
“Kno, Watt is my last name.”
“That’s what I asked, and don’t tell me no again. What is your first name.”
“I can’t tell you my first name.
“Why?”
You told me not to, and Wy is my sister’s name.”
“Okay, let’s do this the hard WAY.”
“That’s my cousin, Wei.”
“I couldn’t care less about your cousin.”
“Nice guy.”
“Nice to know.”
“My name?”
“That is what I’m trying to find out. Spell your first name.”
“K-N-O.”
“Oh, KNO. Now, I understand.”
“That’s my brother.”
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“Who is your brother?”
“No, Who is my uncle. Nau is my brother.”
“Who is your brother?”
“No, he was my uncle.”
“Who was?”
“Yes.”
“Who was your uncle.”
“That’s right, he was a famous baseball player and played first base.”
“I think I heard about him. Did he have the same last name as you?”
“Who?”
“Yes.”
“Watt.”
“That’s what I asked you.”
“My last name is the same as his, Watt. My full name is Kno Watt.”
“I’m not playing this game any longer. I’m recording your name as ‘Kno What’.”
“You finally got it right.”
“Great, now move to the next station. Next!”
“Nxt, that’s my cousin, Wei’s brother.”
“I don’t give a shit at this point.”
“Shyt, was my wife’s maiden name.”
A high-ranking officer came over and asked the sergeant, “WHAT is taking you so long?”
“That’s exactly right, WHAT is taking me so long.”
“Don’t back talk me sergeant! I’ll repeat — WHAT is taking you so long?”
“Kno What.”
“Guard, GUARD. Thank you. Please relieve the sergeant of his duty, and take over.”
“Yes, sir. NEXT in line.”
“That’s me.”
“What is your first name, soldier?”
“It’s Nxt.”
