The page turns over
And the clock resets.
On a fresh page I write,
"The year had been kind."
It did, didn't it?
Even as leaves fell in spring.
Even as leaves fell in rain.
Even as leaves fell in fall.
The winter... was beautiful.
Playing with snowballs,
That is forever etched in my memory.
I never witnessed a snowfall before.
It was my first.
I'm not sure if it was snow or cocaine.
But it fell right on me.
And for the first time,
I took a breath.
A deep breath. A thorough breath.
"Inhale," inhale.
"Exhale! Exhale!"
But I never exhaled.
You flew through my veins,
Mixing with blood.
They said blood's red.
They said it is.
But I looked in the mirror,
and my lips were blue.
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Winter ached to bite my cheeks red.
But you were in my blood.
And a masochist would call it love.
Maybe I'm the maso-
No, I'm not. I wish I were.
Maybe then
we would've been together.
But the only one I have
is my bloodsucker.
She promised to help me.
But promises as such
in every corner of the world
are meant to be broken.
She did part of her job.
She sucked the life out of me,
and spat parts of you out.
But she had to break her promise.
She was helpless.
She couldn't let me die.
"SHE NEEDS BLOOD!"
And so I'm here,
Still staring in the mirror.
And my lips are still blue,
but don't be mistaken.
Winter grows teeth and
finally bites my cheeks red.
I remember someone said
"Blue and red, perfect together."
Maybe that's my truth.
The cancer that's you, stays forever.
But the year had been kind, and I'm grateful
Unlike the cancer that tried to kill me.
They should've told you
"People aren't homes, can't you see?"
But it's alright because
that one song doesn't hurt anymore.
Not like it was for me, anyway.
I pick my neck up from the floor.
Sorry, it fell from gazing in your way.
It's a new page, I write,
"May life be kinder this year."
My reflection stares back at me in the mirror.
May I be kinder this year.
Even as leaves fall in spring.
Even as leaves fall in rain.
Even as leaves fall in fall.
Even as leaves fall in winter.
