Falling Behind

3 min readAug 3, 2017

Daily Reflection —August 2, 2017

It has always been a struggle on how to be a youth leader. For a person that is full of frustrations and insecurities about herself, leading is such a huge challenge.

The constant challenge that I have in my current service here in YFC is on how can I connect and relate myself to my co-leaders in the area I am handling. I am having this service for a year now, but I feel so distant to them. It seems like I am disconnected to them in such way that I feel like they don’t respond to me, or there were times I feel so ignored by them as their leader.

This little to none connection I have for them makes me question my capabilities on being a leader. Am I being enough? Am I really pushing myself to reach out to them? Am I also pushing them to become a leader? Am I really being a leader to them? Am I doing my best?

I realized these questions to myself upon seeing the progress of the area I am handling. The progress ranges from little to none at all. As a leader, it breaks my heart to see this reality. Is it my fault? Is it their fault? Or is this everybody’s fault? I feel like I’m being ignored out of all the reminders and efforts I did. I know I did remind them to do the activities they are supposed to do in their chapters. I know I told them that they should prioritize Households this month. I know I did my part, but why do we still have this progress? Why do I feel like we’re falling behind?

But then I hear the Lord and realized that these questions are always answered by Him. The Lord’s answer is always "do your best in whatever you have to do, and then trust me," and I always take His answer as a challenge. This is the Lord’s calling, and having these questions are part of this calling. This is a part of what I answered to last year for this is inevitable, and I believe it is and will always be a part of whatever calling the Lord will lay upon us all.

These challenges calls me to do more rather than falling behind more and more. If I think I am already doing my best, then I should do it more than best. It has always been a part of my prayers that I may be able to share God’s amazing wonders to others, and this questions to myself are one of my motivations to do so. If we fall behind, it is a sign that we should do more to move forward. I also pray to the Lord that He may grant me the grace and wisdom that I need to do so.

Reminding myself that these are all part of my total surrender: doing my best, doing what I have to do for the mission, and leave the rest to God.