Praise and Sorrow
Daily Reflection —August 1, 2017
Indeed, my August 1st started with a great “BANG”, as this day contained both praise and sorrow.
I’ve always looked forward on starting a new month, or even a day or a week, as I’ve always considered these moments as a great indication from God that I should be more hopeful. New month means more hope, and in being hopeful I was able to sense more of Him.
This year’s August is quite special to me for this is also when I finally started a new journey in life, which is a job. This is my “praise”. I know July has been a month of restlesness, but I believe it was God equipping me on His own special ways for this month.
Indeed, on the very 1st day, I was already surprised and was already tested on how much God equipped me for this month. Despite having the joy of starting a new chapter in life, it was also my late Mommy’s birthday. I have always been reluctant if I should celebrate this or not, but her birthday is always special to me that’s why I choose not to sulk into sadness whenever this time of the year comes. However, in the middle of choosing not to be sad this day, a sorrowful news shocked me and eventually, made me really, really sad. This is my “sorrow”.
I lost another mother today, and it was sudden just like from what is was to Mommy.
Mama Sarah, which was one of my grandmas, left us today, August 1. The same day my late mommy was born. Mama Sarah has been there since my childhood, and I can say growing up with her has been a great part of who am I today, and that I really considered her as my “Mama”. She’s special to me, that’s why it was too painful.
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She’s been there whenever I am sick, offering her healing hands in my aching body. She was a massage therapist, and whenever I am not well, or even wounded and bruised, she would be there, tending all of it. Her touch always puts me at ease. She was a person full of happiness and enthusiam, but at the same time, a fighter. She fights for the things she believe in, and she is never afraid to speak up. Above all of this, Mama Sarah has been really a loving mother not just to me, but to others as well.
Losing her was so sudden, as I haven’t heard anything from her from the past two weeks. I didn’t know that the last time I asked for her massage last June would be the last time I would feel her healing hands. Little did I know she was already hospitalized, and that today, her body gave up. It was too painful to think that someone close to you and who has been there since you were young, was suddenly gone.
As the pain of the past was once again triggered today, this made me ask God for His comfort and assurance that everything’s going to be okay. The wounded heart I still have from my mother’s death was once again wounded today. Upon realizing how sudden everything was, makes me sulk into more sadness. But as I pray to God, I believe He is telling me to be still and be firm that someday I would be healed and this sorrows I feel would turn into something beautiful and praiseworthy. I believe that a wounded heart can still be a hopeful heart, and that God wants me to stay hopeful despite this sudden heartbreak I had.
Today’s happenings also reminded me to appreciate and be more grateful to the people around me, especially to those people whom we took for granted.
I may lose two mothers already, but I believe I also gained two guardian angels up there. I haven’t completely absorbed Mama Sarah’s departure, and I still have regrets about my Mommy, but with all the realizations that God has equipped me of the things I needed as I seek Him and ask for His Holy Spirit to work on me, I believe that in time, everything’s going to be okay.
Be firm. Be still.
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