I’m going to give a few instances from the last month that were really frustrating for me.
The first one happened at the mall I spend time at a few times a week, and have been going to frequently for the past 12-13 years. I don’t go there to buy anything, this mall is my country’s main hangout spot for alternative teens and youth. I consider myself to be somewhat of a combination between emo and punk, have been since I was a young teen.
This mall’s security knows me. They almost never check my bag and know I never cause problems. They say hi and sometimes sit and talk with me. Not this guard. I think he’s new. He’s an old guy, and I’ve barely seen him.
I don’t understand why, but I was about to enter when he stopped me. He said he needs to check if I’m allowed to go in with my mobility scooter. Mind you, people enter with bike, scooters, skateboards, electic bikes, etc, all the time. I tried explaining that a mobility scooter is the same function as a wheelchair and I need it to enter. He went and asked another guard. The other guard asked if I had a disability card, which is given to every disabled person in my country. I said yes, even though you aren’t obligated to show a disability card for using mobility aids. They let me enter.
About 2 hours later, my friend who also uses a mobility scooter, told me the same guard demanded to see her disability card when she tried to enter the mall.
Get Dorian Vesper’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
This was frustrating. Why do we need to prove we’re disabled to strangers just so we can access public spaces just like everyone else?
Another instance was at the train. I came and the staff informed me that the elevator in my destination isn’t working, and that they will order me a taxi, which is required by law. I said ok, stuff happens, not their fault. it was already late, around midnight. They sat me on the train and I arrived at another station, then waited for the taxi. And waited. I waited about an hour, then went to the guards and told them the taxi didn’t arrive. They called the woman who was supposed to order me the taxi, and she told them the taxi driver called me and I didn’t answer, which both the guards and me agreed that was a lie, especially since I sat near them all that time and my phone never rang, and because turns out the people in charge of taxis use this lie often. She said she’ll order me a new taxi. It never arrived, even though the guards kept calling and checking. At around 2:00 they closed the station, and offered to give me a ride home, which is why I got home that night. I am extremely thankful to the guards, but what if I wasn’t that lucky? would I have to wait on the street untill the train station opens again in the morning? my phone battery and my scooter battery were low, and I had to take my evening meds.
Another example is buses. There were 2 bus instances in the past 3 weeks. One driver opened the door far from the sidewalk, so my friend asked him to move closer and open the ramp. The bus driver closed the door and drove away. Another driver told me my mobility scooter was “illegal”. I tried explaining that it’s like a wheelchair and perfectly legal, but he refused to open the ramp until I threatened to report him. He opened the ramp but started acting aggressively, saying I need to “act nice”. I asked him how he would feel if he was disabled and had to beg people to respect his mobility aids. He kept saying that I need to “be nice” in a very aggressive tone and told me to “not threaten him”. It calmed down until a woman with a double stoller tried to get on the bus. He came to me and started almost yelling at me again that my scooter was “illegal”. When I got off the bus I took a picture of the bus’s license plate, and sent an email to the bus company to complain. I still haven’t heard back from them.
Those are just a few examples from the past month. I have been getting similar incidents ever since I was using a rollator, then when I used a manual wheelchair, then a power chair, and now a mobility scooter and a walking stick. I also had many priblems with taxi drivers, and in my country some disabled people like myself have an exemption from waiting in line which people either denied me or got mad about, as well as many other instances and examples. I’ve also been accused of straight up lying about my disability, even by people who I considered friends and who had left me because of that, and I’ve been told many times I just “don’t try hard enough”. I also experienced people blaming my weight or karma or me being trans for my disabilities, even though those things physically can’t cause them, especially the genetic ones.
I’m just tired of people not believing, not accommodating even when the law requires it, complaining, or straight up attacking me for simply existing in a disabled body. I honestly don’t know what to do at this point. I know many disabled people experience this, especially young people, women, people of color, and queer people. I try to be patient, to explain in simple terms and examples, to advocate, but sadly, most of the times people simply are abelist no matter how much patience, calm and logic you are willing to provide.
