Second Choice
In talking about a romantic relationship between men and women, a lot of things come up for discussion. Things like family, religion, age, finance, kids and a few other things — these things often get a lot of attention from people all over the world.
In this article, I want to talk about an interesting subject in romantic relationships, that has been on my mind for days now, I have been thinking a lot about it. I hope to get your take on it too, so don’t forget to comment when you are done reading.
The issue of the second option or choice gets very little attention; people have just accepted that being a second option or choice is a bad thing, without giving it much thought. Whereas most people fall in love and get married to their second option, in the same way, most people are their partners’ second choice without even knowing. If you are not your partner’s first love or first partner, then you are not your partner’s first choice. Two of you won’t have been an item if it had worked out with the other lady or guy.
Yes, like every other thing, this second option thing can be a bitter experience if the person is not being honest about his or her intentions and emotions. If he/she has gotten over the first person and has moved on emotionally, then there shouldn’t be an issue. What’s important is the genuineness of your partner, not who he or she asked out first. It is also not about who he or she has been with in the past.
A lady that accepts a guy’s romantic proposal shouldn’t be tagged “the second choice”, just because the other lady the guy had asked out didn’t accept his proposal. The other lady has the right to either accept or reject a proposal for whatever reasons she had, it’s no big deal — it becomes a problem if the lady that accepts the guy is bullied with the second choice phrase.
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What I have noticed is that proximity is the reason why people see this second choice in a bad light. The closeness of the people involved is a problem for people. For instance, a lady might see herself as a second option, if the guy came to her after being declined by a friend of hers. People might call a guy, a lady’s second option if she approached him after she was rejected by the guy’s friend or someone close to him. Shouldn’t the guy move on since he was rejected?
In another instance, it may be that he or she got into a relationship with someone after he/she was heartbroken by someone close to the partner like a friend, colleague, mate or family member. It seems to be a bad thing for many people that someone they’ve had a thing with becomes a thing with someone in their circle, even when they have moved on and the person isn’t a bad person.
Personally, I believe once your relationship with someone is done, you shouldn’t care about who the person is with anymore whether or not the person is close to you except if the person is a bad person with only bad intentions. And of course, your relationship with that person shouldn’t be kept secret, so the person with whom your ex is involved now knows what he/she is getting into and can make his/her decision.
When a lady refuses or declines my love proposal, I definitely have the right to go ask another lady whether or not they are close. Why people make a mountain out of this molehill is what I don’t understand. Your pride and ego or whatever they are, should not stop me from finding love with anyone. Your circle is not out of reach for me, it was you who refused me, so allow those in your circle to make their own decision.
Sometimes, people complain about how fast a toaster moves onto another person after being rejected, and I asked myself who determined this. You must know, this complaint is mostly from girls though, many girls argue that guys should apply pressure and not leave a girl that says no. It is ridiculous, because some girls also say, once they say no, it is a no — the guy should stop. Yet, these people wouldn’t want the guy to move on to their friends. They bring out the second choice phrase in any argument with the friend who accepted the guy.
Will like to read your own take on this issue, so leave a comment.
