Queer Death
January 2025
With the recent passing of The Vivienne at age 32, I feel saddened. Not just by her death, but by Queer death in particular. Dying at 32 is young for all people, regardless if you are Queer or not; however, for Queer people, our lives already feel so much shorter than our cis/straight counterparts.
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I do not know The Vivienne’s story, and I am writing truly based on how I feel at seeing a young Queer person die. It makes me think of myself, of my loved ones, and of the millions of Queer people who can never live their lives to the fullest. Sometimes it takes us so long to even begin living our lives. We are threatened with very real violence that makes coming out terrifying, and, for many, isolating or deadly.
Since I came out to my mom when I was 21, I feel like I have been playing catchup with life. This catchup accelerated when I freed myself from Christianity, and there are times when I regret not coming out sooner or not taking a chance to do something when I had the opportunity. Part of this is just being a human, I know, but this feeling is exacerbated by the fact that I truly was not able to develop my authentic self until I was at least 25. Plenty of other Queer people I am in community with (as well as others I see online) share this sentiment and it is beyond saddening.
How can we truly live our lives to the fullest? We are met with violence for our very existence. Many of us are struggling with suicidal ideation, depression, anxiety, substance use, domestic violence, the list goes on. Even when we finally begin to live our lives, it can end at any moment. Deaths like The Vivienne bring this fear and sadness to the forefront of my mind. So many Queer people have and will never be able to live a full, happy life to old-age because of this dilemma.
Queer death is something many of us have been faced with, whether it is contemplating our own or seeing it in others. It is inescapable in our current climate, and will only become worse with the degrading social views on Queer people. While it seems hopeless, and it very well may be, I can only find comfort in my community, my chosen family, and my own being. Times like these should remind and guide us to strengthen our bonds with one another.
