Member-only story
I Have Become a La Croix Bitch
Warning: contents inside may be very depressing
I didn’t understand the sparkling water craze for a long time.
When I took German classes in high school and college, I couldn’t believe that those weirdos drank “mineralwasser” over regular water. They think tap water is weird — along with ice!
It made no sense to me.
For the four years I stocked shelves at Walmart, I always laughed at how popular sparkling water was. It’s literally just spicy water, what’s the big deal?
But then recently, something changed within me.
I was in the greenroom at a venue in Chicago called FitzGerald’s. The band I tour manage, Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band, was opening up for Los Lobos.
The venue gave us a bunch of drinks, including water, soda, and liquor. They also threw a few sparkling waters in there, which I wasn’t interested in touching, of course.
Towards the end of the night, I dug through the mostly melted ice to find what I thought was a nice, cold, refreshing hard seltzer drink.
I’m not a hard seltzer snob like I am a water snob. If it’s bubbly and has alcohol in it, I’m game.
