Patch up your tapestry.

I write best when cortisol, dopamine and histamine is flowing quickly and assertively through my blood stream and this morning at 11:06am in Durban, on Overport Dr. , sitting at a desk I have outgrown, listening to Justin Bieber, thinking about the glass bottle of coke sitting in my fridge at home, I have decided to write.

I have been going through one of the biggest re-allignmnets of my life so far. It was in full-swing last year in June, when I stopped freelancing for Office Hours and was pretty much out of an income for a while. Thankfully, I am good at doing the absolute bare minimum to keep my head above the water, and so thats what i did, through the grace of God I was sustained until I fell upon an opportunity on Johannesburg, which i ultimately let go of because it did not feel right. I guess that moment of re-alignment was by choice, however there is a part of me that begs “What if’

In October of 2025, a company found me and convinced me to work for them as an SMM. My gut screamed no. My parents said yes. My friend said yes. My gut said no, but okay.

My gut was ultimately correct.

Anyway, I am at this desk, and have been for some time, and I have realised many things. lets go through that list, shall we?

1. When I am not challenged, unhappiness breeds like mould in damp. like in every other aspect of my life, once i get bored, i start hating it.
2. The way you treat the people who work for you, is more important than how you treat your clients. if your constituents aren’t happy, your clients aren’t either. Take care of the relationship, the retainer will rake care of itself.
3. Once you have outgrown someone, you will realise that they were always too small for you.
4. Play the game and win, but please remember that the “wins” are not public, they are considered wins when they align with what makes you happy.
5. Lastly, if i tried to bend myself to perform by the old methods of making a life, i will fail dismally.

I know I must leave, I know this is not good for me, but I do not know myself to give up on things even when I know I am suffering for my sanity.

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and so a change is needed.

For the leap to be one of faith, I must have some grounding in myself and the following is how I will do that :

1. Bitterness & Comparison have no place in the future.
2. Thougtful intention is going to make up 40% of what you do.
3. You need not be a 100% sure of anything, 85% is good enough.
4. Teaching your brain new things is a form of loss of identity, so you must be gentle when replacing old habits with new ones.

I might update this blog next week, next month or in the new year, but there will be an update, friend.

I also write on substack sometimes :)