August
On a summer afternoon hours pass as I trade war stories with a new friend. I find myself at the breach of the naked underbelly of the battles usually kept tucked away.
On this day though, I share the story of Forever Night when my son went from Boy to Warrior and I from Mother to Lieutenant on a battlefield I did not recognize.
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Over a decade now passed. I know all the terrain like it is part of my own body. I can fight for him and also alongside him. He does not know life without illness. But he is not his illness. He is Courage, Resilience and Song. He is perfect and whole but I am tattered by shrapnel in my heart and mind, my muscles and tendons.
I am told I am remarkable for surviving all these years yet “I” did not survive anything at all. Every cell in my body has regenerated countless times. My simple child-brain replaced with screams in the night and also love so big it threatens to engulf me.
Now I live full and try to rebuild all that is broken. It takes time. Ever so much time. I think myself a Phoenix. Slowly I rise, I fall and then I rise again.
