A UTI Gave me an NDE after Birth
Ch. 1: My Near Death Experience
Our bodies are magical things… Specifically the womb. Although many of us walk around with the painted picture movies and tv shows have given us: PAIN. AGONY. PMS. CRAMPS. The list goes on…
But what if our wombs were a portal? What if the act of birthing a human brought us so close to the edge of existence that we could see what lies on “the other side?” What if that not so glorious picture we have been fed is just a big distraction from the truth?
I’m not here to tell you it’s one or the other. I’m here to share my experience as I lived it. You can draw your own conclusions from it. That conclusion will be your truth. Just as my conclusion is my truth.
When I was birthing my second child for a moment, just the smallest moment I left. I could feel my physical body on this plane. But my eyes, my mind was seeing something different. What I saw was my granny, people I didn’t recognize but that I knew were ancestors. They did not speak, rather a collective message was somehow telepathically communicated to me: “You can do this, because you are meant to. You can do this because we have gone before you.”
Then I was right back in the bed my husband right there beside me. I gripped his shirt and pulled his entire body up onto the bed with me as I was pushing. (Side note as a mamma of 3 I really wish I could tap into that birth strength because ya girl needs it!) Not long after our son had arrived and I was forever changed. The woman I had just been was no longer here. She was dead. I had been re-born. Just as I believe every woman dies and is reborn again after every birth.
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As Iv’e said before I spent years longing for that space again. Longing to see “the other side.” I felt this distinct pull that I had more business there, yet I still had business here. So what did that mean?
When the birth of my final child came, I was just as excited as every birthing mother. The UTI I had dealt with 3.5 months prior was a distant memory. But little did I know that UTI would be the catalyst for my NDE. That pesky UTI changed the course of my entire life.
I birthed in March. The UTI came about in December. It took two rounds of antibiotics to get a clear urine test. I remember my midwife telling me the culture on the urine sample was Group A Strep. The same thing we call “strep throat.” Only, this was somehow in my bladder. I laughed about it even, thinking how odd that was. Then, of course I left the midwives office and forgot all about it. That is until i was on my death bed…
Labor with my daughter was ten long sweaty hours. Most of it is a complete blur, overshadowed by the chaos that came after. I do remember thinking it was not so hard even though it was taking a long time. The hardest part was the last few hours mainly because I was so tired. But alas she arrived. She came in one swift push. Too fast. Too small. So small. Only a few ounces over six pounds. My boys were both pushing ten pounds when they were born! Her size was a shock. Almost immediately she struggled to breathe.
It took time but her lungs got going, we nursed beautifully and sat in our golden hours with sleepy bliss. I remember how still those hours after birth were. Again, the veil between this side and “the other side” was thin. I remember seeing my granny on the edge of the bed, the cradle between my husband and I. She had a hand on our daughter smiling she looked at me and said “She’s perfect. I’m so proud of you.” Once again I blinked and she was gone.
Hours in that sleepy haze passed and I started getting chills and sweats. Not uncommon postpartum as the hormones start to shift quickly. But my gut was speaking. No, yelling. “Something is coming.” But the exhaustion. All I could think about was getting home to my bed with my baby. My bliss bubble. So home we went.
That’s when nightmares became reality. That’s when we started to die…
