Friendships
If I was to choose between experiences and material stuff, I would choose experiences over and over again.
We are a sum of what has happened to us this far and not the material stuff we own. Now am not saying that a car or a better house is not something good, of course these are all nice stuff and they make our life easier and better and give us some social status haha especially in a world where people look at what you have materially for them to decide what respect they are going to accord you. But hey,
What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? Mathew 16:26
There are many things that money can buy including friendships. We have all heard stories of how wealthy guys have tonnes of friends. Most of these guys attest that the friends they have are mostly after something, ask the politicians, managers, CEOs, landlords, their phones never stop ringing, they are always on demand, every one is looking for them, sometimes for a favor, to help them pull a string or two here and there. They have what we call money friends. The reality only hits hard when suddenly they loose the position or power or something happens and their dynasty falls apart. When they no longer have the money flowing in their banks, then the phone calls begin dwindling and become a once upon a time.
Where are all the people that used to constantly call them?
We got to understand that we were built for companionship and friendship. When they are reading one’s eulogy, you will rarely hear them mention how many properties, buildings and pieces of land someone had. What is often mentioned is the person’s family, his/ her relatives, the good or bad he/she did in society, but mostly only the good gets mentioned of course. At the point of death, no one is leaving with any wealth they generated on this earth.
When the will is being read to the family of the concerned parties, the person who was responsible for building the wealth is no where to be seen or found, they are gone. The vanity they were chasing is now up for grabs by other people who probably never lifted a finger to support their ambitions.
We have started with the worst case scenario, death. However, there are lots of other scenarios, for example sickness. A disease can cripple even the mighty and bring them to their knees and at that point no amount of money will be able to buy back health.
Last week I was having a conversation with one of the people I consider to be a bit wealthy. Now this person lost their dad like a month ago. He is quite an influential man and so was his father, he has many friends, his phone is mostly always ringing. The one thing he said he appreciated most is the friends who took time and traveled to go grieve with him personally, because really it’s not the money he needed but the people, the friends and their physical presence.
We are all probably very busy with our lives, trying to make ends meet for ourselves, trying to look out for ourselves, getting ourselves to better positions, getting our kids to better schools and better neighborhoods, trying to acquire property or get a project started.
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However, we have become somewhat selfish and seem to be forgetting what really matters. What are the basics?
If you are not happy now, don’t think that car is going to make you happy. If you are not at peace with yourself or your family, buying another piece of land isn’t going to bring back the peace.
Your relationship with the people in your life is not going to change just because of the thought, it’s going to change by deliberate action to make things work.
“One’s friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human.”
George Santayana
I love real, and one of the things I truly appreciate is friends. The real type of friends. Those people who you know got your back no matter what. Real is rare in this society, few are authentic, we are mostly copy pasting even in our lives, which is sad because what you have to offer this world as an individual is very unique to you and only you can give it in a very authentic manner. Trying to be someone else is a waste of time, be you and let the world adjust to that.
The experiences and moments I have with family and friends are really what define me. I wouldn’t trade them for anything else. Those heart to heart conversations, the zero chills ones hehe, the laughs, the fights and quarrels, the road trips, the adventures, the how are you doing phone calls, the activities, the celebrations, the highs and lows together, the support and the love, these are what I am made of.
Are you a good friend and relative to the people in your life? Are you truly there for them? Have you got their back? Do you know their interests, fears, goals? Can they truly count on? Are you their friend because of something you want from them? Are they themselves are around you?
No one is perfect, if you are looking for a perfect person to love there ain’t one, and neither are you. You had better just love the people in your life with their flaws and imperfections. Love covers a multitude of sins, 1st Peter 4:8.
We all need love.
There are friendships that have hurt yes, but are we going to allow that one, two, three or more scenarios forever define friendship for us? We got to rise above those rejections and be willing to give friendship one more chance. We will talk about forgiveness another day.
Finally, What really matters to you?
Cheers 😊.
