Age and Respect.
“Respect your elders.”
One of the very first lessons we learn as children — taught to us by an elder.
Let me make something clear, right off the bat: respecting someone you don’t know is a basic etiquette. That’s what makes us civil. But it’s regardless of someone’s age.
Most cultures preach respecting elders as a basic. And it does make sense. A person older than you has more experience of this world, and most likely knows more than you in most areas of life. However, the divide comes from the fact that they are also human — just born before us.
I’m not yet well-versed in Western norms. But in the East, I’ve witnessed elders being selfish and controlling. Patriarchs of joint families thinking they are entitled to take decisions for their children and grandchildren, regardless of whether it’s good for them or not. Parents destroying their children’s lives by forcing them into one they hate, or marrying them off into families of their liking, not their child’s — these people truly are not worthy of respect even from their children.
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The “respect your elders” as an idea is flawed in the fact that it does not preach “respect everyone” and instead focuses heavily on elders. This results in many people ending up giving their elders immense respect, but significantly toning it down for people their age or younger. I’ve seen teachers who treated their students like barbarians but when it came to older people, treated them as saints. I’ve seen my friends put older people on a pedestal, just because of their age.
Why is the criteria for respect tied to age in the first place? Reminds me of the famous idiom: “give respect and get respect”. And herein lies my solution. Respect must be earned. Regardless of your age. Just because you’re older, doesn’t mean you’re entitled to being treated as a saint.
A lot of my work at this point in life involves working with kids, and not once have I thought of myself deserving of respect just because I have leverage over them or because I’m older. I respect them. And they respect me. Simple.
A lot of the large scale evil in this world mind you, comes from older people in positions of power. Wars are waged, people in need ignored. The recent wars in the Middle East were vehemently opposed by most of the youth. But did it have any impact? And are those who were behind them, worthy of any respect at all?
And if you want me to go to extremes, look at the notorious files coming out in America. Those responsible are technically “our elders.” Do they deserve respect? Or if the greatest villain in the history of mankind, who resulted in millions of deaths came up to you, would you respect him simply for being older?
Age is just a number. Truly.
If you’re old, you’re just old. Your time on Earth must not earn you special privileges above people who came after you.
