Stop Seeking Approval
Embrace your ideas and Focus on Personal Growth
I have had many ideas since childhood. I had ideas in almost every field. But besides that, I had a big problem: I couldn't express my ideas as they were in my head!
Afterwards, as I aged and my speaking skills improved, I quickly began to express my ideas in the company of my friends at the university or my colleagues in the offices where I worked.
After a while, I got discouraged because no one would accept what I said. Only some of my ideas were great and acceptable, but there was a hidden resistance to my ideas.
I could not convince others about my opinions and ideas, which became a complex problem.
Years later, through conversations with some of my friends, I realized that my ideas are not a problem, but my constant effort to satisfy others and tell my ideas everywhere and to everyone makes them take a stand against them. I had to learn where and with whom to share my ideas.
Only some people need to understand and accept your ideas. You only need one person who understands them and can invest in or work with you to implement them.
Convincing everyone about your ideas is neither realistic nor necessary for the following reasons:
1- Different views: People have different pasts, experiences, and values, which comprise their ideas and beliefs. People who have lived a life of luxury feel little about saving money for low-income families. Explaining a sport's concept to someone with professional sports experience seems strange.
2– Autonomy: Everyone has the authority of his ideas and accepts the consequences. Imposing your opinion on others means taking responsibility for implementing that opinion.
What is the need for you to be responsible for the consequences of other people's actions? Instead, it is better to share your ideas and not insist on them.
3- Limited Energy: This simple question can lead to profound self-reflection and reevaluating priorities.
As you reflect on your energy expenditure, consider this: When you check how much money has come into your account at the end of the month, ask yourself how much of this money you have won from winning debates.
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Pleasing others can be a difficult task that drains your energy. It would be best to have energy for your life, not waste it on pleasing others. Ask yourself what you would gain if you won an argument.
Winning debates indeed boosts one's self-esteem, but it will not be a tangible achievement in your life.
If we dig deeper, we don't need to win or lose any argument. You need success that convinces one or more people in an argument; if we even call it success, it is a partial, overnight and unstable success that will neither pay you money nor your electricity bill!
But what is the solution?
Act like government spokespeople, but in a limited way.
Undoubtedly, we should talk to people, have open and rational discussions with them, and even have reasonable debates if necessary. However, these should be limited to communication and socializing.
Have you seen government spokespeople? They talk, participate in debates, defend the Government's position, and answer everyone. But how much of the Government is performed by them? Spokespersons only reflect governments' actions and achievements and sometimes defend their lousy performance.
The best way to influence others is to be a practical example. Your character, your actions, and the results you have achieved in life are the most critical factors in convincing others.
If you are at a party where a successful multi-millionaire is also invited, which one of you do you think will be heard the most? You may claim that people approve of him because of his money. Some may be like this, but most people approve of a successful man because of his success. He has results and does not need a resume.
Let's accept that you don't take the views and ideas of someone who hasn't achieved anything in work and life. So, if you don't have any achievements, it's good to refrain from commenting in groups. If you have to comment, refrain from insisting too much on your opinion because you will look stupid. So whenever you comment, see it as a comment in an open conversation.
Rather than focusing on what others say, focus on your growth.
I know people who, when they come home from a party, think about their discussions until midnight and regret why they couldn't win the discussions and satisfy others!
But here's the thing: This is a good end. It's a sign of self-awareness and growth potential. Those with high self-esteem often see the non-acceptance of their views as a failure, but it's not. It's an opportunity to reflect, learn, and grow.
Instead of focusing on your ideas and imposing them on others, focus on your personal growth. Not only will you gain nothing from arguing with others and even convincing them, but you will save time when you should focus on your personal growth.
So, instead of striving to convince everyone, focus on finding the right audience and sharing your vision selectively.
Recognize that personal growth and self-awareness are more valuable than winning debates. Ultimately, the key to influencing others lies in your actions and accomplishments rather than in relentless persuasion. Embrace your ideas, prioritize your growth, and let your success speak for itself.
