The possible lavender marriage in “The Gilded Age”
Spoiler warning for seasons 1 thru 3 for HBO’s “The Gilded Age” (2022-)
A lavender marriage isn’t just a platonic couple with legal protections; the concept has a history of queer survival. Lavender unions can be homosexual men with lesbians, bisexuals with aromantic people, and the list goes on. Lavender spouses can be resentful towards each other but I prefer happier depictions in fiction. Amidst queer rights rollbacks in modern America [Advocate. 2025], the last thing I want in television is tropes that trivialize queer survival.
The United States is in its second Gilded Age, complete with homophobia and biphobia. It’s no wonder why the lavender marriage concept is resurfacing with young adults [Feeld. 2025]. HBO’s ongoing series, “The Gilded Age” suggests a lavender union during the season 3 finale. “Gilded Age” (2022-) begins when the illustrious Russell family moves to New York City and becomes neighbors with the distinguished Van Rhijns. The elite families employ servants who are as observant, if not, more observant than their employers. Enid Turner is a maid at the Russell estate who develops an unlikely alliance with bachelor, Oscar Van Rhijn. Oscar and Enid will theoretically wed in the fourth season, sleep in separate homes, and clandestinely meet inside Oscar’s rural cottage.
Enid and Oscar yearn for spouses of high status, but Enid couldn’t care less about romance. It’s unclear whether Turner is aware of Van Rhijn’s bisexuality…only his ex-boyfriend, John Adams, confirms to the audience of his knowledge. John dumps Oscar offscreen for desiring a lavender marriage yet they remain friends. Adams refers to Van Rhijn’s nuptial aspirations as a “smokescreen” to hide his “true nature”. Oscar retorts, “Don’t talk to me like that. I hate to be defined”.
Since Oscar is nosy and Enid abhors the Russell matriarch, Oscar exchanges cash for gossip pertaining to his newest neighbors. Van Rhijn is not a manipulative man so he had no intention to turn gossip into public scandals. John knows of Oscar’s transactional relationship with Enid and ironically says, “A vengeful lady’s maid sounds like a character in a melodrama”. Additionally, the Van Rhijn matriarch suspects Oscar and Enid of being secret lovers. While it would be precarious if Oscar kissed an employee his mother hired, that never happens in “Gilded Age”. I wouldn’t be flabbergasted if Oscar genuinely fancied someone the Russells hired. Oscar’s mother, though, is aghast at the thought of her son having premarital sex with a maid.
During the second season, Oscar hints to John at wanting children because he’s the last person to pass on his surname. “It’s different for you, you have brothers.” He confides, “I am the torchbearer of the house of Van Rhijn…don’t hate me”. Adams holds his confidant’s hand and replies, “I could never hate you.” As John tenderly kisses Oscar’s hand, a servant of the Van Rhijns, Bridget, walks in on them. If Enid Turner and Oscar Van Rhijn were to wed, they could rear children to soothe his uneasiness regarding his legacy.
Enid Turner is not the only social climber with a fierce apetite. Ward McAllister, a man who networks with New York’s old money and nouveau riche, publishes a tell-all book which mentions Oscar Van Rhijn. Mrs. Armstrong, a servant at the Van Rhijn mansion, misses the subtext within McAllister’s book and suggests, “Maybe Mr. Oscar will find a bride and live at the house”. Bridget responds, “Well, I doubt that”. Bridget is the only servant who has seen Oscar sharing a cigar with John inside Oscar’s bedroom. Luckily for him, Bridget shows no disdain for gay affection. All in all, Turner wouldn’t prioritize Van Rhijn’s happiness but marrying her could quell rumors about his queerness.
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After getting fired by the Russells, Enid marries Joshua Winterton — an affluent man whom she knew would die soon. I’m unsure if Oscar Van Rhijn could have a healthy lavender marriage with Enid Winterton (nee Turner); after all, she is as vicious as Ward McAllister without making public spectacles. Enid tried yet failed to prevent Joshua and other socialites from uncovering her past as a maid. Her former employer exposed her secret because Enid attempted to seduce the Russell patriarch.
Due to Oscar’s distinguished lineage, if Enid married him — after her mourning period for Joshua ends — that could lead to fruitful connections. Widows during the American Gilded Age typically wore just black following their husband’s death [NMFH. 2026]. A widow would wear lavender after about a year to transition back to wearing colors. Everyone in high society would scoff at a widow who soon remarries even if her previous marriage was short-lived. And since Joshua died shortly after coupling with Enid, his widow barely had time to mingle with his connections.
Oscar was conned during the second season and almost became destitute because of it. If Enid discovers her suitor has a history of being scammed…she may reject his proposal. However, Van Rhijn’s new countryside cottage must be worth a fortune. If he and his would-be bride land in financial troubles, Oscar could sell the property to the New York Heritage Society to convert into a museum. “Gilded Age” hasn’t revealed if Joshua Winterton has surviving male relatives. Oscar may discover, in the fourth season, that Enid overestimated her net worth following her late husband’s death. If that occurs, accepting his proposal would save Enid from further embarrassment.
In the third season, it’s hinted that the Van Rhijn matriarch figured out her son is queer. I predict she’ll acquiesce to Oscar and Enid’s partnership because it will quell her suspicion of his orientation. She would fume if she discovers their union is for show but Oscar’s mother disdains the concept of divorce. Even if Enid and Oscar’s union became toxic, I doubt it’d end in divorce.
I’d scream if Enid uses Oscar’s queerness to blackmail him. Outting someone can be fatal even in places where gay relations has been decriminalized [GLAAD. 2025]! Oscar is opportunistic for self-preservation whereas Enid is opportunistic to the point of cruelty. If Enid was sinister enough to murder Joshua, I hope she gets arrested before she can harm Oscar or his relatives. If Enid Winterton is revealed to be queer herself, HBO will probably face backlash for resorting to the queer villain trope (that’s a story for another day).
The premiere date for the fourth season hasn’t been released yet [GoldDerby. 2025] but I eagerly await the next installment of my comfort show.
I would like to credit the blogger, Maurine, for creating the gifs used within this article. Please support Maurine on tumblr and Archive Of Our Own.
