that’s my man.
— capturing him in her perspective.
“I’m home, baby,”
I can feel someone’s arms wrapped around my waist. If I didn’t hear the voice, I may be punching their face right after.
But it was him, it was Jongseong.
I smiled immediately, though I still found it hard to control the sudden excitement.
“I am no longer a baby, Jongseong,” and I am not capable of calling Jongseong without saying his full name.
Jongseong. Perfect. Neither more nor less.
When we decided to make a life-time vow and live in the same place, I feel like our love became more steady and grow domestically. How he kissed my forehead, my eyes, my nose, and even my lips to wake me up every morning. And how he caught me smiling like crazy over him making me glorious meals. And the way we caressed our backs while hearing each other’s complaints at the end of a tough day.
How it correlates with a poem that goes, ‘Perhaps the world will end at the kitchen table, while we are laughing and crying, eating of the last sweet bite.’
And it’s those moments that Jongseong treasures the most too. Most cliché, the most normal part of the day yet remains at our most special moment.
But I found it amusing that sometimes Jongseong can treat us like a brand new love, a teen romance, highschool sweethearts. We, in the midst of our busyness, often spare a small time of every Saturday having a date in this city of ours. Jongseong never forgets to bought me three scoops of matcha ice cream, kissed me on top of a ferris wheel after we managed to survive a whole rollercoaster ride, take me to places I never thought we would walk before, and let our Sundays be a romantic day of marriage couples in general.
Nothing’s changed since we started to build our relationship in college, except our perspective of life gets wider as we grow together, too.
Jongseong came to my dad’s house at early 2019 with a box of rings on his right hand, he even bring his parents with him. A smile painted on his face as he proposed me in front of our family. And when my dad asked Jongseong, what would he offer, his answer is,
“I’ll let Riana chase her happiness, while I’m chasing the stability of our family. I can’t make any promises in advance, but instead you can ask me anything you want me to be, I will try my hardest. I surely am honored to grow and build my own family with your daughter,”
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He surely do, he really do. Jongseong is a morning person, a well-organized man who prepares everything for his future. Basically, he lives ten year faster than me. He is also a family-oriented man, dedicated his life to his surroundings. And I am the opposite of everything he is, yet we eventually managed to live as one.
Jongseong is not only a husband—though I’d always burst into happiness everytime I hear that word— but a significant other, a soulmate, a whole new page of life; he can lead me into anything and I’d worship him for that. He has the choice and he can choose to roam anywhere, he can pass my house, yet instead of just visiting, he stayed; he should know that I am always grateful for that choice.
I indeed hit the jackpot.
No song could ever describe about how dearly Jongseong is, but Willow by Taylor Swift would be great to express my deep affection towards him.
I’m like the water when your ship rolled in that night
Rough on the surface, but you cut through like a knife
The younger version of me thinks that life is only behind my back. Me, and my impulsiveness, thinks that I would never get married or as simple as being together with someone for a long period of time. My dream was being an independent or an alpha female who —I stupidly think — can rule the world. But then, Jongseong came along and made me fall on my knees. Not that he was scary and screaming big dominant energy, it’s his tenderness that made me weak, and yet he’s still capable to be the captain of my ship.
The more that you say, the less I know
Wherever you stray, I follow
I’m begging for you to take my hand
Wreck my plans, that’s my man
God, if the seventeen-years-old me ever read this shit, I would definitely die out of laughter and disgust.
But hey, Kid, it’s Park Jongseong anyway.
“You’re still a baby to me,”
My dear, I am honored to grow together with you, too. Little did you know, I always imagine about how we still holding each other’s hand while watching our kids (or even our grandchildren) playing around the backyard. Wondering about how you guide me home when I’m no longer have an ability to walk properly makes my heart aches in the weirdest way possible.
Perhaps the world will indeed reaches its end at the kitchen table, while we are laughing and crying, eating of the last sweet bite.
And that’s a humble choice I will surely choose if one day we can decide the ending of our own lives. Being with you, my dear, is the sweetest way of living and dying.
Cause if you are a mythical thing
Like you were a trophy or a champion ring
But there was one prize I’d cheat to win
He kisses my lips passionately, smiling in-between, caresses my cheeks and gives me a little peck before he looks at me endearingly.
“Guess what? We survived another year together,” he smiled, “I love you, I worship you, and that’s my promise ‘til death.”
"Perhaps The World Ends Here" — The Woman Who Fell From The Sky by Joy Harjo.
