Dedication
October 20th, 2026
Get footsteps of the Furies’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
It only appears so. And that is what I want — to appear dedicated, to keep up the appearance of deep involvement while employing hidden detachment. That is why my irony, sarcasm, and cynicism are so refined through constant use. This way I can tell the truth without taking responsibility for telling the truth. I can pretend to be honest under the veneer of worldly boredom because I have no guts to say that I don't care directly. I don't know why, and since it doesn't bother me, I don't plan to find out. Of course, I'm not being honest here and now, because if it didn't bother me, I would not be writing about it with implied detachment. Most likely I am jealous — I know people dedicated to their professions and personal betterment and the betterment of society beyond what is normally expected. I am wary of them — either they are superior to me in their dedication, or in pretending that they are dedicated while I, at best, always show up on time. Anyway, they are better than me. They are either too honest or too devious, and both options bother me equally since I cannot match them. Obviously, I probably could match them with one of those options, possibly in both, but that would be too much work I don't care about. That would interfere with my laziness. And there is always a probability (judging by my personality) that I could get involved way too much in some endeavor and dedicate myself completely to it and lose myself in it, with all my irony and detachment going to waste. Yes, that explanation will do for now.
