Ole.
Kunle walks in a jovial mood.
Kunle: “Wale, where you dey pack go.kk?”
Wale: “Ah! You still dey here, casala don burst. You better japa.”
Kunle: “You don start with your false alarm. Fabu master! I hail you ooh.”
Wale: “Shoor, na your grave you dey dig. Commot, make I pass. No be me and you go go jail.”
Kunle: “Oya wait, wait. Way thing happen?”
Wale: “Mama Ada dey look for you.”
Kunle laughs heartily.
Kunle: “She na why you dey shake like Bonga fish be that?”
Kunle: “I don send her the 20,000 we owe her. All those noodles and eggs we buy on credit, I don pay am. Oya thank me.”
Wale: “You crazy you no know. 20,000. You think say that one go save you? A ni Ada don get belle!”
Kunle is shocked and almost falls down
Kunle: “When? How?”
Wale: “You dey ask me? When you dey do am, you tell me?”
Wale: “If I no catch you na that day I go know? Leave road make I pass.”
Kunle: “Wale, no leave me go. Way thing I go do now? Help me.”
He holds Wale by his clothes begging earnestly.
Wale: “Go, accept the baby, and marry her.”
Kunle: “I can’t!”
Wale: “You stupid abi you dumb? See how your pride they shine through.”
Kunle: “Clara is pregnant!”
Ominous silence fills the air. Clara was the Mopo’s leader daughter he was dating.
Kunle: “She say her Papa must not know as long as we do traditional marriage this month and I don agree, in fact she give me 500,000 to prepare. Wale, way thing I don enter like this?”
Kunle starts to panic and paces the floor
Wale: “You know something, first of all, leave this area. Go hid, Mama Ada and her son don dey look for you. If they catch you na another problem be that.”
Kunle quickly packs some clothes and his laptop. As they were about to leave, the doorbell rings. Kunle runs inside to hide. Wale composes himself and answers the door.
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A twin stood at the door, both heavily pregnant.
Wale: “Yes?”
T1: “We are looking for Kunle. He is responsible for our pregnancy.”
Wale is shocked into immobility. Together? At once? How?
Wale: “How is that even possible?”
T2: “We might have let him think we were the same person to know if he was cheating but that is not the problem. He has to accept one of the pregnancies or else, if our father knows…”
Wale slams the door shut, runs inside, and smacks Kunle out of his hiding place.
Wale: “Wahala, you be stupid bastard, how many women you don impregnate like this?” He shakes his head in disbelief. “Two people dey outside they claim you give them belle.”
Kunle: “Just help me escape first. Just help me.”
Wale thinks for a few minutes then takes him to the toilet window, where he smuggled him out. Kunle was to escape by taking the back gate and getting in touch with Wale later.
Landlord: “Kunle! No be you be that?”
Kunle: “Ah, Baba Landlord.”
Laughing nervously, he tried to retain his cool.
Kunle: “Baba landlord, Good morning.”
Landlord: “What is good about the morning, ehen? Where is my money? 6 months rent or you want to make it 9 months before you deliver the money?”
Kunle: “I swear, I don send the rent to you already. Check your account balance.”
Landlord: “I never receive any alert. Until I get one, you no go leave this house today. Today — excuse, yesterday — excuse. No alert, no exit.”
Kunle: “Baba Landlord, please let me go, I go send for the whole year right now self. Just let me go.”
The landlord held his shirt and refused to let him pass. Kunle overpowers him and runs for his life.
Landlord: “THIEF, THIEF, OLE, OLE.”
The area boys caught him and started to beat him up.
Kunle: “I NO THIEF, I NO THIEF OH. NA MY LANDLORD.”
All pleas fall on deaf ears as punches and blow descend on him. In the twinkle of an eye, a tire and fuel were placed on him and he was set ablaze.
Kunle woke up screaming and sweating profusely.
Kunle: “Thank God! Thank God! Thank God!”
A call came in and he picked it up.
Kunle: “Hello, Clara. You wouldn’t believe the crazy dream I just had.”
Clara: “Forget dream. Kunle, I am pregnant!”
