Who Are You?

To day is a day that i will never forget. When I was a little boy I remember sitting up waiting on my mom to come home. She had gone out for the night. I had no idea what she was out doing. My aunt who we were staying with would come in the living room and tell me to go to bed. My oldest sister and I shared a bed. My cousin had his own bed. All three of us shared a room together. Sometimes My cousin was with his dad and my sister would be with her dad. I could still see myself scared to come out of my room because I would wake up in the middle of the night needing to change clothes. I had a problem with wetting the bed it seemed to be an every night thing. If my mom had her door locked i would have to wear some of my cousins clothes. It was like my aunt had ESP. She would walk around the corner and ask me why was i wearing my cousin’s clothes and that i needed to change and put my clothes on. Bless my sister's heart. she would always have time to tell me a bedtime story without ever giving me a hard time for wetting the bed. She would take my care bear and her unicorn and tell the best stories. I can remember this one time where my sister and I were on a porch swing. After about the fourth time from swinging as fast as we could she decided to jump off. The swing did a flip with me on it and i flew out and landed on the edge of the porch. I don't think i got knocked out that time. I do recall going to a dentist office to get stiches. Another time my sister and I were playing in the back yard. Their was one of those diches that ran through the neighborhoods. She threw this book bag over the fence and i told her I was going to go get it. Her being my big sister. She was not going to let me go. As she started climbing the fence she slipped and the part that twist around and makes two points at the top. Stabbed her right in the neck. All i could do was scream like it was me who had gotten hurt. My mom came running out and grabbed her up and all i remember in running to the back door. It's so weird how life seems to just pass some people by. I can remember things that no one in my family seems to care about remembering. Now as I write. I wonder why we even have a memory. Today no one seems to care about where they came from or what they went threw. Let alone what they were talking about five min before. There is a reason why I am writing like this. I hope you will capture a child's mind going threw the stages of life and what I had to refrence in memories, and the Esperance's I had with friends and family. As i sit here without any of them. Some of them have passed and some have been taken. Others I don't talk to. It is not like I didn't try. Back to the story. One time My sister and I thought it would be a great idea to go outside when it was snowing and bring in all this snow. We piled it up on the coffee tabe. Then we took our snoopy snow cone maker and preceded to make our first contradiction. You cannot take snow and run it threw snoopy. He only takes ice. Anyway, needless to say all we had left was water everywhere. Before my dad got full custody of me. I remember this night that my sister was at her dads and my cousin was with his dad. I was in my mom's room. I remember hearing this creepy deep voice say my name. I imedatly I crawled under my mom. She had this big waterbed. so, it was easy to fly up underneath her like a baby chick hiding from a fox under his mother. Shortly after we were made to leave my aunts. I was in my mom's care. I asked her where we were going. She replied. We are going to Aprils. That was not her friends name> it was the girl that was my sister's age. Thats how it went though. One of those nights we were there. That girl April asked me while I was trying to go to sleep if I had ever been kissed. I was not thinking about kissing. I only kissed my mom at that age. She kissed me and still was thinking. You are not my mom. You are too young to want kids. So, I turned over to go back to rubbing my pillow and sucking my thumb. When I was interrupted again. This time she asked me if i had ever been French kissed. This time I am thinking. If i do not get some French fries, I am going to go tell. Thats when she stuck her Toung in my mouth. Sadly, no fries. Going to my dad's now. He was married now to my brother's mom. I was four when he came into the world. As a kid I did not really have a hard time with monsters. I could swear something came home with him from the hospital. It stayed in his closet. I had my moment to have it stair down on me in a dream once. I dreamed I was in my dad's room and my three girl cousins on my mom's side were telling me to follow them. They were the ones to tell me about God. They had gone to church and when they saw me, they told me what they learned. this is not a dream. That part actually happened. I remember being filled with something So wonderful. I know it was. It is what the people around me today are trying to make it out to be. like I'm the problem. Back to the monster. I hesitated on chasing after my cousins. I was thinking about what was in my brethren's room. I started to run after them and ended up in my room. When i turned around their it was. It was just like the wear wolf from the liken movies. Standing over me it roared in my face. The reason I remember it so well is because I roared back at it but sounded like a puppy. You are probably wondering what I think it means. I just took it like I wasn't going to be afraid in my life. The title to me is perfect. The people that were in my life never seemed to be who I thought they were or who they perceived themselves to be. Being a kid was great. My friends and I would go to my moms on the weekend. I would have this girl who I still talk to, to this day. We had her parents belive that she was friends with my sister and she would stay the night. My mom would drag us all to church the next day. No, the girl and I never did anything other than kiss. She was always brushing her hair and chewing gum. Still, we had fun. It makes me think about my brother who just passed away. I am having the hardest time with that. I met him when i was 13. He went to the same school. we had shop class together. He had his hardship. So, he could drive. His dad passed when he was a baby and his mom had just passed when we met. Today I am understanding the hardship. He was a little dark. Still, I made he my best friend. It came naturaly. Due to the few years of me crying myself to sleep every night wondering where my mom was. We had some really good times and not so good times. I never understood why we didn't talk for a few years. I tell you that I know God. I wouldn't know how to tell you about God. I have always had my relationship of my own with God. I never really talked about it. I would talk to God all the time. My dad worked a lot, and I wasn't able to leave the house a lot. I would sing songs and just talk. I did that a lot. Every time I was alone. I was alone a lot. A lot would believe me seeing as today what the data has to say. Once again when I was in a dark part of my life. I called on God. Just like the time I was with my daughter's mom. My daughter was only 6 months old. I can see today why God made its self-known to me in such a way. I was outside one day. I was listening to a song that went. Superman aint got nothing on me. I remember saying to myself. Only God could say something like that. I hit my knees and talked. After that I went back in. She said I just want to smack you. I was like go ahead and closed my eyes. she kissed me. In that moment every wall that I had built came crashing down. I went and took a bath after that. That was the first time I saw colors going across my mind. Growing up with my dad was tough. He was always working plus being a vet and his dad was a vet. Neither one of them knew how to be a dad. My dad was more of a dad though. He just flipped out when he didn't know what to do and cussed a lot. Nothing would prepare me when he decided to marrie again. This time to some one when they were drunk. Grabed me up and stuck her toung in my mouth and reached down my pants. I was in the sith grade. She was so drunk that night we had to throw the chair out the next day. She peed on it. Thank God we never threw something out when I peed on it. I would have never gotten to sleep in another bed. Going to the 10th grade. From the moment I saw her. It was just like on TV. I didn't hear music, but everything did go blurry, and all i saw was her. Clear as a bell. This one time I was riding with my friend who just got his license. We were taking this girl home after school. I was having a bad day as a dork. When we pulled up who would have guessed it. More like entrapment. A setup. The girl we were taking home was that girl's younger sister. She wanted to go for a ride. I couldn't speak and she was talking to me. I remember nothing. Only thing I knew is I needed some new clothes. That evening I went to my part time job I had at the grocery store. When I got home my dad said. Some girl called you. I was in disbelief and could not think of who would be calling me. My dad did not like to hear the phone ring. Plus, me and the phone was not a conversation I was conferrable in with my dad. Every time he told me if someone called, he was not there. Every time I was like dad telephone. To Be Continued….