What’s cooking?
A cricket match in the kitchen
Me: Are we ready then? Tell me where we are.
Cook: Well, I have got onions, basil, olive, rice, dal, berry, currie, crisp, salt, pepper, mustard, and uthappam…sort of.
Me: Oh well. Turning to the other person. What about you?
Butcher: I have got lamb, bacon, and two burgers.
Me: Very well then. And you?
Baker: I have got beer.
Me: That’s it?
Baker: Well. Maybe corn and apple too. Sort of.
Me: Nice. So what are we making?
Cook: We are putting together two cricket teams for today’s match.
Me: What?
Cook, Baker, and Butcher remove their masks:
My name is Alastair Cook. He is Lionel Baker and that is Mark Butcher. Allow us to introduce you to the two teams for today’s match.
Alistair Cook (Captain of Team A)
Lionel Baker (Captain of Team B)
Mark Butcher
Robin Uthappa
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Allan Lamb
Clive Rice
Basil D’Oliveira
Phil Salt
Phil Mustard
Graham Onions
Paul Appleyard
Michael Beer
Lioner Baker
Matthew Bacon
Bob Crisp
Nandre Burger
Louis Burger
Cec Pepper
Rahkeem Cornwall
Anuj Dal
Darren Berry
Bradley Currie
—
Note: This is a satirical piece which I had originally shared as a Facebook post.
