Blank spaces
49/300. This phase.
No one teaches you what to do with the blank spaces.
The days when nothing is happening.
The season where there’s no big announcement to make.
The phase where your life doesn’t fit into a caption, a milestone, or a neat before-and-after story.
When you’re no longer who you used to be, but not yet who you’re becoming.
You wake up, do what needs to be done, and still feel like something is missing —but you can’t name it.
Someday you don’t even get the work done, you’re tired and nothing is no longer making sense.
It’s uncomfortable. It’s the in-between.
You’re not falling apart, but you’re not exactly moving forward either.
You’re just… here.
It’s hits me like a bomb most nights. I’d stay up reflecting on what my life currently looks like. It’s not busy, it’s not impressive. Am I doing something wrong?
I’d rush to fill them, new plans, new goals, new noise. Just something, anything but the silence bit honestly things kept getting heavier.
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And it made me think if these blank spaces aren’t problems to solve.
What if they’re pauses?
What if they’re rooms my life needs before it rearranges itself?
It’s a battle that feels like the devil and the angel because it’s one moment I’m thinking ‘maybe I just need to flow with the pause' and the next minute I’m thinking 'or maybe there’s just something wrong with me and I really need to do something.’
Now I’m starting to believe that blank spaces are just that. They are not signs that I’ve failed to keep up even if it feels like it and the voices in my head are louder.
Right now, it’s is a place where I’m unlearning the old me and relearning a new me who hasn’t even learned how to speak yet. Right now, it’s awkward and silent and I’m not even sure what I’m doing.
But it’s honest.
Nothing here is demanding my attention. No one is clapping. No deadline is chasing me. And in that stillness, I can finally hear the questions I kept avoiding.
What do I actually want now?
What am I tired of pretending I still want?
What am I exactly aiming for?
Is tiredness the new laziness or is there something that needs fixing here?
So maybe the blank space isn’t asking me to fill it. Maybe it’s asking me to stop rushing past it.
Because some versions of you don’t arrive through effort or ambition or hustle.
They arrive when you sit still long enough to ask the heavy questions and let your life catch up with your honesty.
And maybe that’s what this season is for.
I’m learning.
